The Sad Clown

You say he makes you laugh,

He knocks out your gloom with a staff.

You say he is so so funny,

He makes your life all bright and sunny.

Little do you know,behind his smile,

Each night he cries a river,cries a Nile.

Behind his bright shell,all colorful and crazy

Lies a tragic story,all dark and hazy.

He hides his sorrow,his plight.

Tries to hide away,fly away on humor's flight.

He smiles,but deep within,his smile is all upside down..

Know him well,he is your friend,the sad clown!!!!!

Every smile hides a frown,
I am the one..I am the sad clown!!!!!!

On his head,he wears a thorny crown
In cranky nonsense,he makes his pain drown
Nothing can describe him,no adjective,no noun-
Just one phrase and one only...the sad clown!!!!!

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F1 dog

So everyone has heard about the dog which broke into the F1 race track during the practice session,right????Yours Monumentally Cranky finally managed to get hold of that black dog for an exclusive interview.Hope you enjoy it.:-)

Who let the dogs out?Who..who..who..

Monumentally Cranky: So how does it feel to make it to the newspaper headlines? And what's with that blue scarf?[To himself]*Looks kinda adorable though!!*

Black Dog:Woof!!

Blue scarf!!The latest rage in dog fashion!!!All bitches simply dig this stuff.

MC:Umm...is that supposed to mean anything?

BD:Woof!Woof!

MC:Darn!!!!Sorry,my bad!!!Forgot to switch on my Canine Audio Translator.[To himself]*Funny,it abbreviates to C.A.T. I thought dogs hate cats!*

BD: Now you hear me,bonehead?I was barking my lungs out at you so long to turn that barking translator gizmo on,idiot!!!!!!!

Grrrr!!How do you plan on bridging the communication gap,you moron????

MC:My profuse apologies.This gadget is new to me,you see.But now getting back to my question-so how does it feel to gain international fame and recognition?

BD: Ahh,I can't express how good it feels right now .I have finally made my family proud.My uncle had walked into the Commonwealth games last year.Held up the womens' 400 m hurdles in the process.Ever since then,my dad and mom have had high expectations from me.It feels great to have finally made this large.My parents' prayers have been answered.My mom even went to the extent of distributing free bones to all the dogs in our locality to celebrate my achievement.And all my pals were chanting repeatedly throughout the night "That sonofabitch has done it!!That sonofabitch has done it!!!" It was quite an overwhelming feeling.

Black Dog,you the man!!!!

Sonofabitch has done it!!!!Sonofabitch has done it!!!!

MC:Ohhh!!So that's what all the howling in the night was all about.

BD:Rarf!!!!Yep,I told em to keep it down lest you humans wake up and think the end of the world has been pre-poned to yesterday night.But they wouldn't listen.Can't blame 'em either.With all those fleas in their fur,it is quite easy for them to get all hyper and stuff.

Honey!!Could you please pass on the Itch-guard?The fleas are giving me a hard time again!!

MC:Quite understandable.What you've done is no mean feat.You broke past tight security and managed to hold up the practice session for no less than five minutes.Why people are now even laying bets on whether you or someone like you would make a reappearance in F1 soon.What do you have to say about that?

BD:If people want an encore,they'll get an encore.Some of the boys in my neighborhood are  gearing up for their own shots at their five minutes of fame.So I guess you can expect plenty of canine action in the days to come!!!

MC:Any particular reason for choosing a F1 track to make your appearance?

BD:You mean,apart from instant recognition in national and international media?Well..this is a bit embarrassing..but yeah.[If he wasn't all black and stuff,I'm sure I could have seen him blush now]

MC:What is it?I can smell something mushy and romantic here.

BD:Duh!!You leave the smelling job to us,media boy!!It's our job to smell stuff-people's asses,other dogs' asses,garbage dumps,bombs,your 3-day old Subway sandwich,everything.But yeah,you are right.There is a cute bitch in my locality who I have the hots for.This F1 stunt I pulled was kinda my way of proving my alpha-male machismo to her.[winks]

Girl you are my Chammak Challo,Where you gonna go,I am gonna follow!!!

MC: I bet she must be a bitch on heat now!!!!

BD: You've no idea!!!!!With my mom and dad's blessings and her mom and dad's blessings,we are planning to start our own litter soon.We need to take care of our family planning aspects first though.I think we are gonna stick with five puppies or so a year for now.

They all went after their mother,you see!!!!

MC:Thanks for taking out the time.And here is wishing you best of luck for your future endeavors.May more race tracks and sport stadiums be witness to your shiny black fur!!

BD:Woof!!!

P.S.That last 'Woof!!!' is just dog lingo for 'Amen to that!!!!You ain't seen anything yet!!!!' :-D

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What next????

So finally my'short' story is over.Frankly speaking,I don't think I would have tried my hand at it.But Saru Singhal  insisted that I do.And I thought,what the heck,let's give it a shot.Problem is,it seemed to me that my story needed at least 3 chapters in order for me to do it justice.But,still,it was a different experience trying to condense all that into one relatively short composition.Sometimes I feel like Karan Johar who can't do without 3+ hours to tell a story properly.:-)

I wanted to be able to write something which will touch readers deeply.That's one area of writing I am still not very comfortable with yet.In "Consumed",I focused more on creating a fast ,pacy short story in which readers won't lose their interest half-way.So as far as my original objective is concerned,I failed.The subject of love destroying individuals and eating up their entire existence has always fascinated me.Maybe I will explore this theme more deeply in some other story.Right now,I think it is time for a happy happy,fairy-tale like romantic comedy to come out of my pen.

"Consumed" was my third story here.The follow-up to Love and other bugs and Complicated.The former had 3 parts and the latter had a whooping nine parts!!!!!!Now I wonder what next . Philo wants me to write a rhyming poem.I want to pen the sequel to Love and other bugs.I wonder if these two can be combined in any way.Hell,it will be a romcom.Plenty of scope for insertion of a mush filled poem here and there.Anyway,I think it is high time that Rohit got united with his 'happily ever after'.So a sequel is coming soon to a monumentally cranky blogspot near you.

And not to forget-a big thank you to all of you.You just make me keep wanting to write more and more......:-D

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PoemVille

You just know you are suffering from an acute case of Writer's Block when you have been unable to proceed with a story you have been toying in your mind for two weeks now.I dunno when my neural networks would fire up again,so for now, let stories take a rest.Let's focus on something else here.Poems. :)

I am a bad poet.My poems are meant for seven-year-olds who think rhyming is still cool.
The thing is-without rhyming,I can't write a poem.It doesn't make any creative sense to me.Why....I would rather write prose in stead,if I am not rhyming.A poem without rhyme and rhythm is just glorified prose right???

Well,that is what I used to think.Until I chanced upon the poems of a few awesome bloggers.They didn't rhyme,but boy,did their poems rock!!!!!The depth,the emotions,the feelings.....they kept me coming back for more...

One of these bloggers is http://esoteric-thoughts-posited.blogspot.com/ .I went through a dozen or so of her poems,and while I couldn't connect with all of them,the ones I did like,totally blew me away.She is just one of those intelligent poetesses who weave magic and profound thoughts into her poems with awesome ease.

So,if you happen to know of such poem powerhouses,do leave me a link in the comments section.And yep,if you want to write poems of your own,now maybe a good time to try your hand at it. :) If a shitty writer like me can try his hand at it,you can too.:-)

Best of luck...and happy trekking in PoemVille....

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Life so far

I am a smart guy.It's just that I specialize in making highly unsmart choices.

First,he makes me slog my ass off coming up with smart choices.
Then he goes right ahead to do exactly the opposite!Hmppph!!

But I make some accidentally good ones too.Just like my decision to join Infosys,straight out of college.
This Friday,my stint at Infy ended.It was a 3 years 4 months stint.And just like anything that stretches that long,it had its fair share of ups and downs.It was in Infy,I discovered my passion for writing.And along with that,I unearthed a whole lot of startling and not-so-startling facts about myself as well.

I tested positive for all those psychological disorders??!!Yikeees!!!!

Something which I learnt in these 3 years is-life ain't about making the right choices or the wrong ones.It's about learning to make your choices work for you.There ain't no good choices or bad choices.The merit or demerit of choices lie only in their consequences and outcomes .

The outcome may not be!

No matter,how much thinking and knowledge-gathering goes into arriving at a decision,life has a tendency to take us off-guard,to knock us out when we are most vulnerable,to twist our well planned choices into a mockery of unforeseen and unintended consequences.

Hey Life!Don't punch me so hard,
Just gimme a fair game, one good card!!

Somewhere down the line,I realized that life isn't to be taken too seriously.If life makes us happy,then smile.If life makes us sad,try to find what's funny about it and still smile.

Smile!An everlasting smile.It'll do you good,mile after mile!!

I dunno what lies ahead.I can just hope.:-) It's another thing I learnt in these 3 years.Hope is the last penny in your emotion's bank balance.Never in your life make the mistake of giving it away!:-)

Hope.Cleansing your worries.Since 50,000 B.C.

P.S.Google Images -serving image plunderers like me ever since its conception!! :-)
P.P.S.A friend of mine mentioned I look funny in my new profile pic!!!!Horrors,I say!!!:-(

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Gone sense Nonsense

Whole of tinseltown is abuzz with the news of Ekta Kapoor hiring Raam Gopal Verma to direct a new movie.It is going to a romantic comedy.Balaji Films,the banner under which Ekta Kapoor produces her movies,has reportedly paid Ramu a whooping sum of ten-crore rupees to get him on board.It's a different matter that most of that 10 crores consist of fake 1000 rupee notes circulated from a certain amiable and friendly neighboring country of ours.Ramu has twitted about it in frustration ,calling Ms.Kapoor as Fake-ta Kapoor.

Ramu loves me!!!!!

Ms.Kapoor, on the other hand ,has been unavailable for comments.But if the insiders and the grapevine are to believed,then the movie is still definitely on.

It will star Himesh Reshammiya,Tushar Kapoor(now why ain't I surprised at this one) and Harman Baweja.Celina Jaitley has been roped in to play the female lead.The movie has been tentatively titled '3 IIT-iots'.
The threesome of Himesh,Tushar and Harman are going to play 3 IIT-dropouts who decide to open a IIT coaching centre of their own.Digitial gimmickry to the tune of 10 lakhs is going to be used to make the 3 look like actual 18-20 year olds to lend credibility to the movie.Hollywood technicians who have worked on critically acclaimed animated movies like the Lice Age trilogy and Kung Fu Funda have been brought down specifically for this purpose.You haven't heard the names of these movies,neither have I.Duh!!!!Critically acclaimed movies are like that.Deal with it!!
Celina is supposed to be the Maths teacher in this coaching institute who all the 3 lead actors have an eye on.This being a spic and span, sanitized,clean,family entertainer and all, Celina will only bare her assets at every 15 minute interval.Himesh will do the music for the movie.For free,of course.That is how he landed the hero's job in the first place.

When are they ever gonna stop milking free songs outta me,dammit!!!!

There is supposedly a scene in the movie where the villain threatens to chop off Tushar's and Harman's balls (unmistakably a Delhi Belly inspired brainwave) until and unless Himesh croons for 5 minute straight in a non-nasal voice.This being an unachievable feat for the nasal crooner,rumours are afloat that Himesh has roped in his old time friend Sonu Nigam to dub for this critical scene.

Needless to say,Ekta Kapoor hit upon this extremely novel concept after witnessing the Chetan Bhagat-NarayanMurthy twitter-tiff about the degrading quality of IIT-ians, and about how IIT coaching centers are somehow responsible for that.

Aamir Khan is rumored to do a cameo in this movie as his character from 3 Idiots-Rancho.It will be shown how Rancho actually got admitted into ICE(Imperial College Of Engineering-The IIT-Knock Off which 3 Idiots used) by studying in the coaching institute opened by the trio of our heroes.Supposedly,this coaching institute was the one which taught him all about the 'All-Izz-Well' philosophy.

Chetan Bhagat is planning to drag Ekta Kapoor to court now too,claiming his book Five-Point-NoOne to be a creative inspiration for 3 'IIT'-iots.In his latest twit he writes,"Not satisfied with making movies on real life thugs and porn queens,Ekta Kapoor is now encroaching on the hallowed territory of Indian engineering education system as well.Hell,that's my territory and my territory alone.Lay off your Dirty Pictured hands,you buggers!!!"
Once again,Ekta Kapoor is unavailable for comments.Last time the shutterbugs spotted her,she was doing some Havan in a temple for Tushar's success in Bollywood.

Knock Knock Knocking on Havan'sDoor

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The flower and the bee

There she was-pretty,yellow and bright,

But her tiny heart wasn't quite feeling right!!!

She was a sensuous sight,an alluring flower,

But for no fault of hers ,her mood was sour!!

Her smile gone,she had no pleasure,no glee,

'Cause none visited her-not even a single bee.

Angry and alone,she one day asked a passing bee-

'Is my pollen and nectar not sweet enough for thee?'

Surprised,the bee answered-'You're gorgeous and grand,

Proudly and bewitchingly with spread petals you stand!

I would have gladly sipped your honey,dipped into your juice,

But then the friendship of the leaf below you I would lose.

You see he loves you deeply and truly-that shy fellow,

He can give up his life to protect your petals so mellow.

He asked us all to leave you alone,to leave you at peace

So our plundering visits to you have been caused to cease!!

He always loved you,from the day you were born,

He sings about you-evening,noon,night and morn!!

Go and talk to him now,you silly girl,you foolish lass,

Lest before you know true love-this moment shall pass!!!'

P.S. Often we seek love and companionship outside,above us,in places beyond our control and reach.While all the time,a leaf sitting quietly below us goes on loving us to no end......This is a poem dedicated to all such silent lovers and admirers.....Hope your love gets rewarded one day!!!!:-)

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Love and other bugs-Part III

For Part I,go here
For Part II,go here

Life's a bitch.Love even more so.
Life gives you a low-specs low-config PC.Love makes you want to run high-end software on it.
Rohit didn't have the looks or the money to woo a fab babe like Ankita.And yet,here he was.Head over heels in love.With a software which his hardware was gonna choke to death trying to keep pace with.If only life had given his hardware some good hard sense to keep it company!!!!!

To make matters worse,she was leaving him for good!!!!!!

"Woaah!!!Hyderabad?How come I didn't know any of this?" Rohit shot out incredulously at Ankita.

"I didn't know I'd get selected.So decided to wait before telling you."Ankita replied in a tone which seemed rehearsed to Rohit."I'll be leaving by the end of this month."

"But,must you go?What's so bad about Pune?"He sounded desperate.More desperate than he would have wanted to sound.Less desperate than he actually was.

"Rohit,it's paying me 1.5 times my current package!Plus,it's into product development.Not the shitty service-oriented mess we are in.Would you have let it go?"

He wouldn't.
Or would he?If Ankita was around,he might have.He could have thought about it.He could have stayed with her.....stared dreamily into her eyes...thought about what names their kids would have...dreamt about growing all shriveled-up and old together.
And screwed up his career in the process.
Damn you,love!No wonder people hate you so much!!!!

They didn't talk much after that day.He tried to drown all his single-hood and desperation in a sea of booze.But all that happened was that his S.A.D life  became sadder than he had ever thought possible.

Is it  just a weird freaking coincidence that Single And Desperate abbreviates to S.A.D?
Well,I guess we'll never know.
***
And so,on one such booze-induced night,Rohit was returning in a cab from a friend's place.With a sloshed mind occupied only with Ankita's dreamy thoughts.
Her flight would be leaving for Hyderabad tonight.He knew for sure he would miss her.He would miss her so very much.
He would miss  the cute dimples on her face as she talked.He would miss the intense light of a hundred emeralds dancing in her eyes as she giggled.
And he would miss her smile.That smile.

He had once found an oyster at a beach as a kid.His curious fingers had pried it open,and his puerile eyes had been put under a spell by the beautiful white pearl peeping out of it.He never knew just how long he had kept staring at it in stunned awe.That sight had taken his sight captive,and the rest of his senses with it.It was by far the most enticing,the most alluring,the most bewitching experience he had ever had.

Her smile always reminded him of that pearl.


But now that pearl was gonna get clamped up in that oyster forever.

"Hey,turn the cab around!!!!"Rohit hollered."I want to go to the airport!!!!!"

Maybe it was all that booze that made him turn around.Rohit was darn sure it was all that booze.The author is pretty darn sure it was something else.
***
He was drenched in sweat.The four chambers of his heart were beating like the walls of  four 18-inch bass-pounding speakers;the solidness of their output almost drowning out every other sound.

His cab had broken down 2 kms away from the airport.That lousy piece of junkyard shit!!!!With roughly  25 minutes to spare before she boarded her flight,he had made a dash for it.Like his life depended on it.

The stuff love makes you do!!!!

Panting and gasping for breath,he arrived at the airport counter with 12 minutes to spare.They won't let him inside the airport.Not without a ticket.He fished out his debit card to make the 10 grand payment for the earliest flight out of Pune to anywhere.He just had to get inside somehow!!Anyhow!!!!!The thought that all this money might actually go down the drain crossed his mind.Maybe he would be better off just calling her up and telling her not to go.

But no!!That wasn't gonna work.

10 grand!!Dammit!!!Whoever said love don't cost a thing obviously had a sick sense of humor!!!

After a 4 minute long queue for sec check which seemed to drag on forever,he was finally at the waiting lounge.Pune airport is fortunately a very small one.You take 70 odd steps and the entire airport is over.With only just one waiting lounge and about 6 minutes to spare,she shouldn't be too hard to find,should she?

He was wrong.Her flight seemed to have been delayed.And she was nowhere in sight.He frantically looked around,trying to catch a glimpse of her black cascading waterfall of hair.Or her long eyelash-ed eyes.Or her long slender neck......on her gorgeously elegant shoulders.

Nothing.She was nowhere!!!!

"Rohit,what on earth are you doing here??"
He turned around to meet her face to face.She was without any makeup whatsoever but she never seemed so  ravishing before.He could easily pull out his heart,put it in a gift bag cushioned with soft cotton and tissue paper,tie together the floppy handles of the bag with a ribbon,and hand over the bag to her.Just her.

"Ankita,please don't go.I beg you.I love you."
Even a kindergarten kid would have probably proposed  to his puppy love in a more heart-warming fashion.But in these matters, the gift of the gab eluded Rohit eternally.

Why on earth couldn't he just cry his heart out to Rani just like SRK in "Chalte Chalte"?Or maybe have some oldie goldie song ready.A song which she would know he would sing only to his beloved.That sure was a great time-saver trick!!Worked swell for Imran and Genelia in "Jane Tu Ya Jane Na",didn't it?Both these love lost heroes wooed back their lady loves in the airport.

Why the hell couldn't he?

"What?"She almost shrieked."This some kinda joke,Rohit?And how the hell did they allow you in here?"

"Shhh!!!"He moved closer to her and put his finger over her silk-petal-like lips."I spent 10 grand just to be able to spend less than 10 mins with you!Don't take that away from me."

She just stared at him wide-eyed as he resumed speaking."All this talk about feeling complete and everything.I never knew what that meant.Until I met you.I have been going crazy just thinking about you.I am trapped in those thoughts.Funny thing is,I don't think I want any release from them.I want them to stay forever.Just as I want you to stay forever."

"Rohit,I-I don't understand."she said,shaking her head.

"Don't say,you didn't know I like you."He looked at her eyes,searching for the faintest hint of affection in them.

She did know.She had kept herself away from him this whole past month,just so that it would be easy for him to forget her.

"I'm leaving on this flight tonight,Rohit!Nothing's gonna change that."She finally said decisively.

"Look.We can work something out.Don't say No ...pleeeez."

"Like what?Long-distance?That's never gonna work.You know it.I know it.The whole damn world knows it."

"Plllleeeeez don't go!"He almost cried.

"I'm sorry,Rohit.You and me ain't gonna work out.Byee.Take care.I will board my flight now."

"Is there no chance that we..." He stopped mid-way as she turned away from him to join the line of boarding passengers.

He stood rooted to the ground.Hoping,just hoping that she would turn to look at him.See the pain in his eyes,the heaviness settling in his chest,witness every fiber of his being calling out for her to stay back with him.

She didn't glance back at him.Not even once.

He still waited.Until he knew for sure that her flight must have left.Hoping.Just hoping.

He was turning to go away,all lights of his life having dimmed out,when she heard a voice behind him."Hey,aren't you forgetting something?"

She was back?She didn't leave him?Ohh!!!Sweet mother of god!!!!Life wasn't such a bitch after all.

He turned around happily.
Only to see a stranger girl holding a piece of paper in her hands.His 10 grand ticket!!!!Must have slipped out of his pocket.

"Umm.It's ok."He said crest-fallen."I don't need that.I missed the flight I actually came for."And he left.

Little did he know,that the girl holding that ticket would end up holding the ticket to his heart as well.She had seen and heard the entire scene between him and Ankita unfold before her eyes and ears with rapt attention.Her heart went out to him in sympathy.

She was that woman.The one he would have kids with.The one he would lovingly fight with over taking out the garbage.The one.His happily-ever-after delivered to him in a FedEx package.He just didn't know that yet.And neither did she.

But of course,that story was just beginning.:-)

*The End*

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Stuff

Stuff I plan to do during this 4-day long weekend @ home:
1.Watch She's All That,Captain America,Green Lantern and Mere Brother Ki Dulhaan.
2.Design my own blog template from scratch.Let's just hope I don't end up scratching those grand plans of mine in the first place.
3.Pen the final chapter of my story.

And why on earth am I jotting all these down???
Nuthing to it really.:-)Just the fooolish hope that writing all these down will give me that extra push to stay committed to my plans.;-)

I am back to Kolkata on Doshomi.Visiting Kol @ the last day of Puja celebrations almost feels like having to feed oneself on the leftovers after the sumptuous feast is over.
The pandals are relatively empty;and the people's energy and enthusiasm are reluctantly eyeing the exit just as the MLAs of the party on its way to getting voted out in the next elections .
Ahh well,never liked too much of noise and boisterous display of exuberance anyway.So I guess I ain't complaining....:-)

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Love and other bugs-Part II

For Part I,go here

"So just what made you want to top the MCP Hall of Shame,Mr.Crow-Shit?"Ankita sneered at Rohit.They were at the Food Court as agreed,and apparently Ankita didn't want to waste time in pleasantries.

"The same thing which made you join the Bullshit Bitches Company," Rohit smirked."And BTW,you must be darn fond of the word 'shit',mustn't you?Ro-shit...crow-shit...make me shit in my pants???...blah blah..You sure got one stinky mouth the size of a football fie.. "

"Shit deserves shit,"Ankita left his sentence hanging mid-way."And BTW,even I was just a wee bit curious....just what made you so fucked up?What's your big problem with women,anyway?"

Problem?He didn't have a problem.Women were the problem.


"Women are living examples that God is a lousy programmer,"he retorted."He riddled the source code of human existence with bugs like you!!!"

"Why you misogynist piece of shi...".She stopped herself seeing the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile."You know something,for you a different definition of MCP has to be found out.Misogynist Crap Pot!!!!!Yep,that sounds like you all right!!!!!!"

Misogynist Crap Pot!!!Rohit noted it down.Could come in handy in some future blogs.Some wit this Amazonian bitch had!!!He could feel the beginnings of a grudging admiration stirring in his heart.

"Ok.Enough with the fluff talk," he tried to put on a matter-of-fact tone."Down to business now.Tell me this.Are we going to spend this conversation rambling about what a huge mistake my parents made by making out on that fateful night...Or do you actually have something important to say?"

"Nothing.I just wanted to see what a misogynist slob with a flair for writing actually feels like talking to," she said eyeing him with defiance.

"And the verdict is?"

"Unimpressive!!!"She laughed out."And I am being lenient here.You obviously can't stand women coz you can't get anywhere with them.Tccch...tccccchh....I think I could have pitied you.But you're just too plain obnoxious!!!!!!!!!"

Damn!!!This bitch was good.

He was already starting to like her.


"Funny,"he smiled wryly."I thought you were going to ask me whether I hate women because I don't get them or whether I don't get them because I hate them."

"Hah!!!Does it make a difference?"

"It does to me.Look,I know I write a whole load of baloney on my blogs.And yep,I do it out of sheer frustration.But it's not just because I'm put off by women.I know gals and chicks have every fucking right to ignore me and dismiss me without even a thought.And trust me,although I  hate them for it,I hate myself  even more.I hate myself coz I'm not just good enough for them.I'm not smart enough or I don't have looks to die for.I get that,ok??"

Ankita opened her mouth to speak but Rohit silenced her with a gesture of  his hand.
"I'm not done yet."He went on."Women just friggin' dismiss my CV without as much as giving it a second glance.I get that.But I can't go on hating myself.So I just blog to let off my steam.I don't care if people read them or not.Or what they think of it.Believe me,when the first few comments started pouring in,I was surprised.I didn't think people would consider the moronic  thoughts of a loser worth reading,let alone commenting.Sure it feels good and all.....right now.Gives my shitty vulnerable self-worth its much needed ego-boost.And maybe that's why,I just keep doing what I do.I  don't want to hurt people,I don't .But if you don't like what I write,you can just stop reading them.Right?"

Rohit stopped to catch his breath.He half-expected her to say something.But she just kept on looking at him with a queer expression he couldn't fathom.

"There,interview over?May I leave now?" he asked,trying to wrest out of her some semblance of a reply.

Seconds passed without any of them exchanging a word.

Rohit was beginning to get impatient when she finally replied with a wide grin,"You know,I came here half wanting to drill some manners into that nut-case brain of yours and half wanting to bash you black and blue.But you are one honest sonofabitch!!I like that."

Rohit didn't know what to say to that;he just kept his lips zipped.

"And stop reading your posts?????Nooo way!!!!,"she continued."Me and my colleagues love them.They sit right there with the Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield strips we dig so much!!!Kinda lits up those dull mornings sometimes!!!Me and my buddies hatch devious plots to screw the shi...uhh...screw the balls out of you!!!!" At this point,she almost giggled.

His writings lit up her mornings?
Damn,her mint-fresh smile and cute dimples were lighting up his dull evening too!!!!
She suddenly wasn't that vicious succubus from that man-hating hell anymore!!She was that bubbly ball of joy he wanted to hug and kiss.
He could surely learn to love this chick.Without an iota of doubt!!!!


After that day,they talked and they  talked often.Evening snacks at the office canteen turned into hang-outs at MacD and PizzaHut.Chat conversations turned into movie outings.Two months flew by like two hours of some breezy romantic comedy flick.He was falling in love and he knew it.He thought she was falling in love too.

But he was wrong...

To be continued...

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Raped

Painfully,he digs his fingers into my arm
Fear seizes me,I know he'll cause me harm
His eyes are hellish,shining with cruel lust
I can feel tonight he'll turn my body to dust

Rudely like a beast,he throws me on the floor
My clothes,body and soul,he violently tore
Clawing and ripping away my tender parts,
He riddled my heart with poisonous darts.

He beats me up,terrorizing and horrifying me
Powerless before him,I helplessly fight to be free
He is using me and my body without permission
My shamed body hating itself for its submission

He leaves me,torn,dirty,corrupted and battered
I'll never be the same again,my life is shattered
He proved it,over my person I've no control
In insecurity, fear and stigma,my heart does roll

I'm changed forever,I'll never feel the same
I don't know how long I'll carry this shame
Forever afraid,over my shoulder I'll always look
Lest he come again, my everything he just took!

My confidence lost,tortured and brutalized by him
My mind is now a cage,and I've become a victim
It's not fun,it's not sex,you can't rape a woman
It's an unforgivable sin,a crime against being human!!!

Author's note:Just read about another rape in New Delhi.In sheer disgust,I wrote this!!!!!

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Love and other bugs

Love and gals never made much sense to Rohit.They were to him what modern abstract art is to the vast majority of people.Meaningless and over-rated.

Rohit of course was never alone in this.Just like a million others from Mars,he was totally clueless and confused regarding what made a Venusian tick.Failures might be the pillars of success but where women are concerned,there are probably too many pillars crowding Mars right now.Success just has no room left to breathe on that god-forsaken planet.Hell,it won't be too surprising if it has packed its bags and left for Venus for good.So Mars can just kiss Venus’ arse!


Till now,Rohit’s long spell of Martian single-hood had been punctuated only with short bursts of casual dates and flings.In Rohit’s world,short meant anything from a couple of hours to a couple of days.But definitely not more.Flunking the exam of love came naturally to Rohit.And he flunked royally.

But he debunked chicks royally too.

He was one of the most popular contributors to his company’s internal blog forum.He sprinkled his blogs with liberal doses of vitriolic remarks against gals in general,and hot chicks in particular.Calling grapes sour does not make them sour,but they sure do take away a lot of sourness from the mind.Political correctness and diplomacy be damned.The easiest way to attract the moths of readers’ traffic is to spark the fires of controversy.And Rohit ignited infernos.Hell,some of the comments on his posts used to be bonfires in themselves.Men were all praises for his guts,and women were out for his guts.Rohit relished both.Until on a not so fine a day…

“Hey Mr Ro-shit...so little baby cries himself to sleep every night...wetting his pillows wishing for a gal to luv him?Do you wet your bed too?”

Rohit stared for ten seconds at this ping in the window of his company’s chatting software.It didn’t take a descendant of Einstein to figure out that this small bundle of praise being heaped on him right now was a side-effect of his chauvinistic blogs.Angry brickbats from gals was a part of his life.But till now,they had just been restricted to comments on his blog posts.This was the first time someone had actually pinged him.
So someone finally decided to take the bull by its horns.


”What,cat got your tongue?Or did a chick make you chicken out?” Another ping followed,even before he had the time to come up with a witty repartee.

Rohit squinted at the name.Ankita Agarwala.He didn’t know her.But this bitch was getting on his nerves.His fingers flew over the keyboard.

”Hi,cat didn’t get my tongue.A catwoman did.With sharp claws and all.I wonder why.Had too much of stinky fish to eat,did she?Coz her words sure do stink!!!!”

Ankita’s reply was furiously fast.“Hah!Look who’s talking.Who writes all that shit on blogs about women,shit-head?I had been following you for sometime now.You certainly have some major rejection issues.I suggest you go see a shrink.”

Ouch! That was totally under the belt!!And cheap!!
Or so Rohit thought. No one likes to be reminded of bitter truths. Even when they are so obviously apparent to oneself and also to everybody else. He started typing again.

“Ms. Crankita Ogre-wala,please do mind your language.All our chat conversations get recorded,you know.If you have the guts not to chicken out,why don’t we just meet mano-a-mano and see this to the finish?What say?Food Court,in front of the Amul Counter @ 4 PM?Or do you just prefer to shout and rant @ people from the safety of your chat window?”

“Pah!!Challenge accepted!!!See u sharp @ 4.Just bring along a fresh pair of undies along.You are gonna shit in your pants!!I am gonna make u!!!”

Some wild untamed Amazon she was!Rohit felt a bit intimidated,and yet strangely aroused.

Little did he know,their meeting was about to change his life upside down.

To be continued….

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Geeky Weeky

The geek in me is just in love with the idea of blogger templates.Can't wait till I have a blog template of my own.By my own,I mean absolutely my own.Designed from scratch,by me.All images and backgrounds will be of my choice and my choice alone.Hell,I will create those images on my own.Know enough about GIMP and Photoshop to pull off sumthing like that with ease!!!!!!!No stupid website names and author names to indicate who had actually created the 3rd party template I will be using.It will totally be me.My current template-I snatched it up from some googled up site-it sucks..:-( I like it,but I hate it too..All these frilly Japanese anime style headers don't do it for me.....But it is kinda different....I haven't seen too many bloggers using it.....So I kinda hooked up my blog with this one...But the wait has not ended....I can't wait to learn enough about blogger templates so that I can start designing one on my own....Just when the hell will my S/w Engineering background come in handy,huh?????;-)

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Complicated..Part IX

The following day

Priyanka and Rishab were at Rishab's place for the lab assignment.No one else was home,so Rishab was in the kitchen preparing snacks for them.While he was away,she casually picked up a notebook lying on his bed.

As she glanced through it,she noticed it contained a lot of  unintelligible scribblings.
Just so characteristic of Rishab,Priyanka thought amused.
But a few scribblings caught her eye.She squinted her eyes to make out what they said.Those were enough to handcuff her attention and put it under arrest.

"Why does it feel like a million stars exploding whenever she smiles..."


"Love must be an architect dotting my mind's skyline with skyscrapers of sweet dreams...Dreams all about her..."


"The earth always starts moving slowly as I  talk to her lovely eyes...and as her black round baby-eyes talk back to me..."


"She giggled spontaneously at my silly joke.And suddenly I felt my world  being drowned in a cotton candy avalanche.....sweet,creamy and delicious...It was crashing all over me...Crushing me....do I have a crush on her????My throbbing heart-chambers tell me I do!!!!"

Priyanka wondered who all these lines were about.She continued flipping through the pages of Rishab's notebook.

Who is this idiot gushing and blushing about?Is it just one gal or several?Megha,maybe?
Or..by any chance,could it be...?????.Noooooo waaay!!!!

"Hey Pri!!!!Would you like some tomato on that sandwich?"Rishab's voice interrupted her thoughts."It would take a little more time."

"Yes,please!!"Priyanka hollered back."No need to hurry,Rishab.We've plenty of time." She needed more time to see the rest of the notebook,dammit!!!Maybe that way she could figure out who the lines were for.

She impatiently flipped to the last written page to see what it contained.

"I stared at it.I stared at her teardrop as it stood at the edge of her eyelashes,reluctant to leave its beautiful yet sad cradle.Finally it gathered enough courage to take the plunge.It trickled down the side of her face,and hung for dear life when it reached her cheeks.I stared at it.A crystal clear salty pearl,yet so unmistakably full of pain and mourning.Its journey resumed,it slid down to her chin and with a heavy sigh let itself fall to the hard floor beneath.I wished so deperately to could catch it.Hold it and see the pain enclosed within its tiny form.


Damn you,Suyash!!Why did you have to make her cry so much??


But the little teardrop is not alone.It would soon join hundreds more like it.They would accept it into their ranks with open arms.The little teardrop would ask them who they were and where they came from.They would reply that they belonged to a guy.A guy who still loves his best friend and hates himself for it.A guy who wished he could hold the little teardrop and lock it away forever in someplace safe."

Priyanka could feel her cheeks tingle with a delightfully warm red sensation.She was starting to blush.All these....written for her?Her heart rejoiced in the knowledge that someone could think of her as so important.

But almost immediately,a sense of alarm spiked in her.This would automatically complicate things so much.How would she handle it?She didn't love him.Did she?

"Hey Pri,here is your sandwich." Rishab called out as he was about to enter the room with her sandwich."Took some sweat making it.I most certainly deserve a tip when you're finished eating and licking your fingers like a satisfied.."Rishab stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Priyanka reading his notebook.

His notebook.It contained everything he felt about Priyanka which was worth writing down.Goddamn everything.

An uncomfortable silence descended.Rishab's nervousness rose sharply like the mercury of a thermometer which has just thrown into boiling water.His mercury was threatening to smash  through the roof of his thermometer tube.The silence was beginning to boil all around him.He couldn't keep it together any longer.

And mercury is poisonous.

"Umm....so you read all that stuff,huh??" It was the dumbest and silliest thing to ask.But it was all he could come up with to prick the ever expanding balloon of soundlessness threatening to fill the entire room.

She just stared at him silently,the speech centres of her brain having shut themselves off.What should she say?What could she say?

Things seemed to be playing out in a TV set whose speakers had gone bust.He wished desperately for her to say something.Anything.
Say you found all what I wrote just a damn big joke!!!Say you found it awesome!!!Say you are touched beyond words!!Say you love me.Say you hate me.Say something,dammit.

She looked at him.A black mop of hair carelessly combed.A boyish face with soft features.Big bright eyes pleading her to speak.Arms with a noticeable muscle tone.A modest height of 5'7''.Could she decide to love him?

"Why won't you say something,Pri??!!!For chrissakes,say something....pleeeeez!!Don't make me mad this way!!"He cried out in agony.

She wasn't done staring at him.Rishab,the guy who had been so desperate to get a gf.Rishab,the guy who filled page after page with lines of sweet passion for her.Rishab,the guy who saved her hide during second semester.Rishab,the guy who pleaded her to be his fake gf so he could score popularity points among women.Rishab,just a regular,average looking guy.Rishab, with no substantial confidence or charisma to set himself apart.Rishab, who saved her from burning her heart at the hands of Suyash.Could she fall in love with him?

She couldn't.


Or could she?Shit!!!It was so damn confusing!!!!

"Rishab,I have to go now."She finally managed to say as she proceeded to leave the room.

He didn't try to stop her.He had been rejected even without proposing to her.While that was what he had fearfully expected all along,it still hurt.

He walked her to the door."Goodbye,Rishab."She mumbled without even looking at him.He couldn't bring himself to wish her goodbye.It just hurt too much.

He started closing the door ,sighing heavily,when  he saw her coming back.His heart soared.She was coming back to say she loved him.She loved him.She would hug him and everything would be alright!!Life wasn't so painful after all.Thank heavens!!!!

"Rishab,I forgot my bag."She said,standing at the door,refusing to come in.

"Huh???Ok.I'll get it." Rishab retreated into his study room heart-broken as Priyanka waited.
"Here!!"said Rishab handing back the back to her."And I am sorry,Pri.Sorry for all this.I really am.I never meant for you to know.I.."

"It's ok,Rishab."She interrupted and just left.

Rishab blinked back a tear.

***

At her home,that afternoon,Priyanka was unpacking her bag when she noticed a diary among her belongings.She immediately realized how it must have got there.
Damn you,Rishab!What did you put a diary in here for??????

She picked it up.She flipped through the pages,not reading,just to see what all was in there.

It was all about her.And Rishab.It was their story.They were everything that they went through.Everything that had happened was right there,in her hands.Rishab had written it all.It was their life together .On paper.

The contents had her at the edge of her bed and transported her to the times they were set in.Events got restored from her memory's archives and started happening again.She watched everything go by.She and Rishab becoming lab partners because of their consecutive roll numbers,their first bunking of college together to catch a movie,the card which he took 5 hours to pick for her 19th birthday,his taking the fall for her during second semester, Suyash and everything about him,everything.It all came back.She was dumbstruck.

Some of the words jumped out of the pages and onto the center-stage of her attention.They were all either said by her or written by her during chats with Rishab.Sometime or the other.Each one of them.Rishab had strung it all together.

She was trembling as she turned the first page to read.It was Rishab,with the most beautiful handwriting he could manage.

"I honestly don't know what I feel about her.
Earlier it used to be simple.I was crazy about her and just had to have her!
But now,I just don't know.
I don't want her by my side,I just want her beside me.
Her company is the best gift life has ever given me.
I can't see her sad.
I could give up an arm just to turn her frown upside down into a beautiful smile.
Her smile.It could light up an entire town and the hearts of all inhabitants within it.I wish I could clone myself into several copies and occupy that entire town.
I know I can never hope to win her heart.And so I search for her in others.Desperately.
So far my search hasn't turned up anyone,I doubt if it ever will.Not that I'm that successful with women.But it doesn't matter.No one can match up to her anyway."

She still hadn't come out of the shock it had sent her in.It was the best thing anyone had ever done for her.

Her eyes welled up as she started reading everything the diary contained.Everything she had ever told him was in it.He remembered everything,every thought,every word,and every sentence.She started losing herself in those moments from the past.He had hung onto every word,everything that she told him.Everything that she ever loved,ever wanted,ever hated,ever felt.Her most cherished dreams.Her deepest insecurities.They were right there,in front of her.Rishab was beyond her best friend.She would not give him up for a thousand hunks and studs.

She was on the last chapter.It had been five hours since she was reading it,never looking up unless it was for rubbing her tears away.He didn't miss a single thing she had told him,often reminding her of things she didn't remember herself.He had brought the glittering golden moments back.

She finished the last page.She read the last line.Priyanka,please let me remain your friend.

Rishab must have scribbled it at the last moment,before tucking the diary into her bag.She cried a little more,thought a little more about Rishab and thanked her stars for having given him.

She switched on her phone and called him up.Rishab picked it up instantly.
"How did you do what you  did with that diary???"She squealed delightedly into the phone."You gotta be gay or a girl for doing that kinda stuff!!!!"

"If you were a dude,I would happily be either one of them."Rishab smiled.

"Hah!But how did you do it?When did you start?"Priyanka asked incredulously.

"Eight months back.I thought I would give it to you on the last day of college.As a parting gift.The diary would be more filled out by then.But everything seemed to be getting over today.I just had to do something.I couldn't let you go away.So I slipped in that diary into your bag when you asked me to get it from my room."

"I soooo freaking love you Rishab!!!!!!!!!"Priyanka crooned in a voice which made Rishab's testosterone levels shoot through the roof.

"I love you too,Pri.Always have.Always will."

"Say something insanely romantic to me right now!!I demand it.I know you can come up with something.Cmon now!!!!!!"

Rishab suddenly realized with a growing horror that his creativity's assembly line has suddenly come to a grinding halt.He couldn't come up with anything!!!!


He cleared his throat."All I can say right now is something insanely silly.The heart has four chambers.2 ventricles and 2 auricles.Every quarter of a year,I will keep one chamber of my heart with you.And keep the rest three with myself.That way,by the end of the year,the whole of my heart will have lived beside you.My heart can't bear to stay away from you,Pri.Some part of it just has to be with you.All the time."

"That was so silly!!!" She squealed again."But I loved it.I love you.Will you love me too??"

"Till the next hundred years!!!!"He said happily.

The End

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Complicated..Part VIII

You could just stare at her and fall in love.Perfectly full pink lips.A cute nose which was just a tad too big for her face.Her complexion was like golden-yellow cream with a pinkish strawberry tinge.The top of her nose merged beautifully into her forehead and spread its wings in the form of long perfectly formed black eyebrows.They seemed to have been painted by an artist with undying love and patience.And just below her eyebrows was the exquisite set of eyes which surpassed the artist's delightful creations in their beauty.Two black pearls,two deep pools of magic-protected by delicate long eyelashes.You would want to be transformed into tiny crystal-clear drops of water,so that you could rest on those eyelashes and never want to leave.She had that big smooth forehead that one's mom would just love to kiss before putting her baby to sleep.

It was just too easy to fall in love with Priyanka.

And there she was in Suyash's car;in a glittery pink salwar with a white dupatta.Her kohl-lined eyes gave Suyash a high which he  never got even after downing 3 bottles of beer.The soft pink lipstick beautifully accentuated the natural pristine pinkness of her lips.The sensual fragrance of her apple-scented shampoo and Davidoff  perfume turned him on in a way he had experienced rarely with other women,if at all.He just felt her curling into a ball and laying in her lap all night.Her fingers could be caressing his hair .He could be looking mesmerized at the pale moonlight being reflected off her smooth face,and it could light up his whole night!

He just had to get that kiss today,dammit.

They were passing a McDonalds' outlet when Priyanka spoke."Suyash,pull over.I am famished.I think I could use some McVeggie."

"Of course."smiled Suyash and started to pull over into the driving lot."You want to go inside or would you like it in the car itself?"

"I don't feel like getting out of the car now,"she moaned.

"No problem, sugar!!!!!"Suyash said as he sprinted out of the car to place Priyanka's order.

Fifteen minutes later Suyash was back with a Coke and McVeggie,expecting to see a big smile on Pri's face.What he saw knocked the wind out of his lungs.

On his windshield,the word screamed in big letters!!!"SUY-ASS"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was no sign of Priyanka.

With a sinking feeling in his gut,he came closer to his dad's car.The seats had been scrawled on too.With the choicest abuses.
"YOU UGLY FILTHY TWO-TIMING DIPSHIT!!" was the most respectable among them.

What the .....??
Suyash,on instinct,started trying to rub them off.Damn!!!!!!!Permanent ink!!!!!

Heaven was witness to the amount of coaxing and cajoling it had taken him to wrest the keys to the Lancer from his father's hands.He had made all the routine promises of how he wouldn't let a scratch fall on his car.How the hell was he gonna explain THIS??!!!!!Life had just scrambled the letters of the word THIS to hand him SHIT!!!!Serious big-time SHIT!!!

He must have been sitting dazed and clueless in the car for about five minutes,when his cellphone beeped.It was a text from Priyanka.
"Hi Suy-Ass,I hope u lykd the new interior decoration of ur car.It certainly luks a lot jazzier nw,dsnt it?U chose to 2-tym wid the wrong gal,shithead!!!!This is sumthin 4 u 2 remember me by.And dnt try 2 do nythin nasty or stupid with me or Rishab.Or else,a breakup betwn u and Shruti is just a phone call away.GN and gudby,Suy-Ass.Lots of luv..muaaaaahs!!!"

How the hell did Pri find out?And no way could he let her open her mouth to Shruti.His birthday was just round the corner.And Shruti had promised him a Christian Dior limited edition watch.No way could he allow himself to lose out on that.


Shruti suddenly started seeming a whole lot closer to the ideal gf as the prospect of losing her started looming large in his mind.He paused and looked at the sms one more time before deleting it.He just had to accept it.That witch had knocked him out cold.
***
One hour ago
Priyanka was all dressed and waiting for Suyash to pick her up,when Rishab's sms arrived.
"I know u r mad@me.But for chrissakes,plz check ur mail.U'l undrstnd evrythin."
She wondered what Rishab meant as she logged into her Gmail.The very first item in her Inbox was a mail from Rishab,with a video attachment.
She clicked on the attachment and her eyes grew wide with wonder as she saw Suyash's face in it and heard what his face was saying.
"Hey Rishab,I heard you and Priyanka had a misunderstanding or something?Tch..Tch.Too bad.Hey,can I be of any help to you?You know,like,convincing her you ain't the bad guy?Telling her it's me who to watch out for????"
.....Snatches of the conversation between Rishab and Suyash that morning followed.

Rishab's voice could be heard saying-"Listen to me,Suyash!!!!Priyanka is a damn sensitive girl!!Can't you imagine what she'll go through when she learns the truth?It's gonna shatter her.She loves you like hell.Thinks the world of you.She doesn't deserve this.You know that.So I'm begging you,just stop playing..."

Suyash interrupted-"Life isn't fair and life's no fairy-tale,partner!!!I will get rid of her when I'm done with her,do you hear?Until then you can keep your moral science lectures to yourself." Suyash's face turned away for a second,then turned back,his smirk back on his face.
"And besides,look at the bright side." he continued."When I'm finished with her,she is gonna be needing a shoulder to cry on.You can then just sneak your butt in and do the needful.You can be her rebound guy.I'm actually doing you a favour,hot-shot!And yeah,you are welcome!!"

Rishab had switched on the camera of his phone after getting off the call with Megha.He had put the cellphone in his shirt pocket,with the camera side facing Suyash so that it could capture all what he was saying.Rishab had known the moment he had seen Suyash approaching him that Suyash would probably say something which would blow his cover.And he hadn't been wrong!!!!!

Priyanka was aghast at what she had just witnessed on her computer screen.Just then her cell beeped again.It was Rishab's text again.
"Hey hav u seen it yet?If not,plz do @ d earliest.It's really important!!!U'll see dat I wasn't lying about Suyash."

Her eyes started stinging.But she fought her tears back.There would be time for that later.Now wasn't the time to get mad.Now was the time to get even.
She texted back."I'm so sorry Rishab.I shud hav blived u.Plz 4give me.N dont worry abt me.I'm alrite.But very soon Suyass is not gonna be.Dis I prmise u."
***

Priyanka was sitting with her knees close to her chest,arms curled around her legs.A blank stare sat in her swollen,red eyes.Getting over Suyash was more painful than she had ever imagined.The wet pillows and the crumpled bedsheets had been her sole companions as she had cried herself to sleep last night.

She loved him so much that she never wanted the smile on his face to disappear.Seeing him happy made her so happy.She had been desperately trying to save money for buying a birthday gift for Suyash.Besides skipping lunches and evening snacks,she had been walking daily 5 kms from college to her home to save on the auto charges.Bit by bit she had accumulated the three grands necessary to buy the Titan white dial leather band watch which she had caught Suyash stare longingly at,while they had been to the mall once.

And whenever Suyash had been sad,it made her so,so sad.Every emotion in him was amplified in her several times,because she loved him.He didn't deserve her love and she didn't deserve to be put in overwhelming emotions of pain because of him.Her heart literally felt as if it had disappeared.Just an empty black hole existed.Sucking up her entire existence.

Several emotions were flooding her mind now.Anger,regret,bitterness.But the biggest one was sadness.She again felt herself on the verge of crying.Tears started brimming at the corners of her eyes.She even started to shake a little.She felt nervous lest someone should catch her crying.

"Now we can't have you dying of dehydration,can we now?"A voice called out from above her.
She looked up to see Rishab looking down at her with his characteristic silly grin on his face."Let's see,you must have shed 20 gallons of ears already!!!"Rishab continued."It would be such a shame to see tomorrow's news carrying the headlines of 'Girl cries and dies of dehydration after being betrayed by a loser'."

A silent tear rolled down her cheek.Rishab racked his brains to come up with something funny or outright silly to say.But all the swiping of his ingenuity card at his brain's ATM resulted in just invalid transactions."Still thinking about that shit-head Suyass?" was all he could come up with.Why his wit and inventiveness always took unannounced leaves in these kind of situations was something he could never fathom.

Just something insanely smart or freakishly silly to crack those beautiful pink lips into a smile,dammit!!!!!

She sat quiet for about ten seconds before she finally managed to speak between sobs."I've been so crazy,Rishab.And stupid.I should have seen where he was taking me,but I just chose to be blind.I should have believed you.I should never have let him talk me into this.But I just screwed things up!!All I can do is screw things up!!!"

"Well,you managed to screw that ass as well!!"Rishab quipped,and then immediately realising the literal meaning of what he just said,added with a sheepish grin,"In a strictly figurative sense,I mean!"

Rishab saw the corners of Priyanka's lips twitch a bit.She was beginning to smile.It was working,dammit!!!!

"He had it coming,don't you think??"

"Hell,yeah!!!"Rishab grinned a grin of satisfaction."Now he'll think twice before pulling his cheap shit on other gals."

"But none of this would have happened had I not stupidly believed every word he said.I just can't even begin to explain how he made me feel.Cheated.And used.Gaawd!!!!Can't I just do anything right???"She cried out in frustration.Rishab noted with dismay that her smile had evaporated.

He sat down next to her,wondering what to say.He was quickly beginning to realize that nursing a girl's heart back to health after it has been bruised and fractured wasn't exactly his cup of tea.It was a mighty difficult thing to understand what to say which could provide her any semblance of comfort.And he used to think understanding Quantum Mechanics derivations was tough.

"Actually,you do a plenty of things right.You get more marks than I do,you have friends who adore you and..And you pulled off the lie about our fake relationship perfectly.Thanks to you,I got Megha.And no thanks to you,I broke up with her."

"Whhaa...at?" She looked at him,her big teary eyes now surprised."Why?I thought you liked her."

"Yeah.I figured if a lie is what is needed to get me close to a woman,I'm better off without her.I mean,I'm no better than Suyash,if I stick around with her,having to depend on the crutch of a fake fling with you to keep her interested in me."

"You could have told her the truth.And seen if she still likes you."

"I couldn't have told her the truth without making me look like a monumental loser,could I now?I mean which chic would hang out with a guy who asks his best friend to pretend to be his gf?Just so that he could hook up with other women.Definitely  not Megha."

"No.Rishab.You are much more than that!"She said in a sweet affectionate voice which made Rishab's heart soar."You look out for your friends.I got hurt before.Another stupid loser had ditched me when I was fifteen.I was crushed then.Do you know why?Because then I didn't have you to watch my back.But now I do."Saying this,she reached out,took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly.Rishab felt like having just reached dizzying heights in a hormonal roller-coaster ride.

"He he.Thanks."He somehow managed to blurt out."So you coming down to my place tomorrow?"

They were supposed to complete their Digital Electronics lab assignment tomorrow at Rishab's home.

"Sure,I'll be there."She forced a smile.

To be continued...

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Complicated..Part VII

Bad stuff has gotta be magnetic in nature.It attracts others like itself.The upsetting result of its magnetic charm is that too many unpleasant things gather together to knock on one's door all at once.And right now,Rishab's door was almost being knocked off from its hinges.

As if all the mess concerning Priyanka and Suyash was not enough to keep his hands full!!To top that,Megha was starting to wonder why Rishab was suddenly growing so concerned about his "former girlfriend".

Megha had a very simple approach to the problems of her fellow-beings.Leave and let leave.
She firmly believed problems should be left to be tackled only by the people to whom they belong.The only exceptions,of course, were her own problems.
So,Rishab's poking his nose into Priyanka's problems was nothing but an unnecessary annoyance to her.And a source of nervous tension.You can never be too careful with ex-flames around.These old flames never get fully extinguished and if time and circumstances conspire,they can pretty well get the current ones packing their bags and leaving.

She was having a phone tiff about this with Rishab on this very day,when Rishab spotted Suyash walking towards him with a smirk on his face.Just my luck,groaned Rishab to himself.That Suyash wasn't coming towards him with the intent of bestowing brotherly affection  wasn't lost on him.

"I'll call you back!" Rishab mumbled into the phone to Megha,and put it away in his shirt pocket.

"Hey Rishab,I heard you and Priyanka had a misunderstanding or something?Tch..Tch.Too bad.Hey,can I be of any help to you?You know,like,convincing her you ain't the bad guy?Telling her it's me who to watch out for????" Suyash chuckled."Hey,don't be so pissed man!!!Just tell me.....I'll take care of everything!!!!!"Suyash mocked and started laughing.
It made Rishab sick to the stomach.

"Why are you doing this to her,Suyash?She's such a nice kid.What has she ever done to deserve what you are putting her through?"Rishab asked indignantly.

"I ain't putting her through anything,punk!!!You are.She was on cloud nine till you poked your meddlesome nose into our business,you sick piece of shit!!!!Why didn't you just mind your own business?Megha is a cute thing.Just concentrate on her and let me take care of your lab-babe,alright?Or else,you've just seen a teaser of what I am capable of.I can destroy you,Rishab!!!!Just imagine what will happen if I make Priyanka blabber about that little secret pact you two had?"

"Listen to me,Suyash!!!!Priyanka is a damn sensitive girl!!Can't you imagine what she'll go through when she learns the truth?It's gonna shatter her.She loves you like hell.Thinks the world of you.She doesn't deserve this.You know that.So I'm begging you,just stop playing..."

"Life isn't fair and life's no fairy-tale,partner!!!" Suyash retorted."I will get rid of her when I'm done with her,do you hear?Until then you can keep your moral science lectures to yourself." He started to turn away,then turned back,his smirk back on his face.
"And besides,look at the bright side." he continued."When I'm finished with her,she is gonna be needing a shoulder to cry on.You can then just sneak your butt in and do the needful.You can be her rebound guy.I'm actually doing you a favour,hot-shot!And yeah,you are welcome!!"

Rishab's blood boiled.
Suyash just smiled to himself and walked away.That will teach that ass to stay out of my way!!!!!!!!!!!
***
Guitar strings and women.Suyash was good at picking them both.As if classical good looks weren't enough to make female hearts melt,he was also the lead guitarist of the college band.For him,women came easy.They were to him what bundles of hundred rupee notes are to that fat rich kid who gets chauffered around everywhere in a luxury car.Easily available.And hence disposable.

Very early in the first year he struck the jackpot.Shruti Mehta.One of the hottest babes in his year.And the richest.Branded clothes,Playstation,smartphone were the perks.Shruti was a gift factory,and Suyash was one lucky dawg.

But one woman simply wouldn't have sufficed.It would have been a criminal wastage of his prodigious womanizing skills.And so he sought out more.He couldn't afford to hook up with anyone from the same college.Shruti just had too many golden eggs to lay for him.He couldn't afford pissing her off.And so it was with chics outside the college,that his trysts with two-timing commenced.And flourished.

It was a pity,though.Priyanka had always been Rank One on his "Top Three Gals To Hook Up With Had I Not Been Committed" list.He often found himself wishing Priyanka hadn't been in the same college as his.Getting together with any of those three chics in that list had been his primary mission and vision statement for the entire duration of the first year. Only thing was-women ain't particulary good at keeping secrets.Especially concerning their romantic lives.If he had to have someone from his own college,he needed someone who would hang around with him and who would still keep her mouth shut about the entire thing.But he had learnt with dismay that such women are hard,if not impossible,to come by.

He had almost given up hope,but then that the gossip concerning Rishab and Priyanka happened.
A ravishing beauty who could keep a love affair all hushed up.It was just...too good to be true.


Suyash always knew how Priyanka felt about him.That much was easy to guess from the way he had caught her looking at him sometimes.They had been close too.With her,he had always managed to play the 'poor little charming guy facing a whole lot of shit from his possessive gf' routine to perfection. And finally some cooked up bullshit about Shruti's psychological problems was all he needed to get unrestricted admin access to her heart.

Of course,then Priyanka had told him that the thing between her and Rishab was nothing but a made-up baloney.This was an unexpected setback to how Suyash had envisioned everything.His core assumption regarding her ability to keep her love life all hushed up had been proved wrong.There had been no love-life to be all quiet about in the first place!But on deeper thought,it didn't matter.She was still doing a damn good job keeping that lie between her and Rishab a secret from others.And Suyash was confident she would keep the reality between her and himself a secret from others too.

Shruti was a delicious dish.And her gifts were the desserts which surpassed even that dish in titillating his taste-buds.But still,Suyash was beginning to get tired of her spoilt rich brat attitude.Weathering the storms of her tantrums and mood-swings sometimes seemed too high a price to pay even for the goodies she showered on him.

He had three months in hand.
He had made up another story as to how Shruti's therapy would be over within three months.So as a dutiful ex-bf,he would just have to stick around with Shruti till that time ;he and Pri would go 'official' only after that.
Priyanka had bought all that crap.

THREE MONTHS.Plenty of time to decide whether Priyanka was really worth having around.Or whether he should just stick with the tried and tested gift-showering extravagance of Shruti.
He was pretty sure if the need arose,he could construct another lie about Shruti's not being able to get over him or something on those lines,and break up with Priyanka on that pretext.He would have to be a little crafty;he would still have to convince her to keep mum about their entire affair.But he was sure he would be able to come up with something.Making a fool out of a chic who thinks the world of you ain't as hard as solving complex Fourier Transform problems.Of that,he was sure.

And who knew?Maybe the thought of losing him would be so painful for Priyanka to bear,that she might just agree to continue the little arrangement they had even after those three months.He could continue to be with Shruti and Priyanka both for sometime more,till maybe Priyanka got tired of it all.Wishful thinking,no doubt.And ultra-ambitious.But then again,Suyash lived in a world of colourful possibilities.Where women were concerned,his wishes were horses which he rode with manic glee.

Of course,it would take only peering a little deeper into his shallow soul to figure out that Suyash didn't care for having either Priyanka or Shruti around.Or any girl for that matter.It was all about feeding his gigantic,massive ego.The chance to brag about his conquests of women to his envious buddies over a bottle of beer.It was like rocket fuel to the engine of his self-esteem.He was walking on dangerous territory,he knew.All his grand schemes and designs might anytime blow up in his face and he would be left with no one to call his gf.Rishab had come pretty close to doing that!But it was cool.He could afford to lose Pri and Shruti both.He would always manage to pick up someone else later.But that dumba** Rishab had thrown a frigging challenge at his face.Hurt that precious ego of his.Stirred the hornet's nest.
He just had to pay.That fool!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now he had to get ready.He finally had the keys to his dad's car in his hands.He had promised Priyanka that they would be going out tonight in his father's car.Hearing that,she had teased him saying that she would be dressed appropriately for the occasion.Suyash smiled to himself as he lay in his bed thinking about this conversation.
Finally, a car with a chic to grace its seats!!!!!!!I wonder if I can get lucky tonight!!A kiss shouldn't be too difficult right now,should it?

To be continued....

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Complicated..Part VI

"Suyash,a word with you!"Rishab was deadly earnest as he approached Suyash in the canteen,on the Monday afternoon following the events at the multiplex on Friday.

"Yeah?"Suyash raised his eyebrow.It  made Rishab's skin crawl.

"Lay your f**king hands off Priyanka,do you hear me?"cried out Rishab as he pointed an angry finger at him."I heard all about the two-timing shit you are trying to pull on her at the multiplex that day.Yeah.I was there too.Now listen to me damn seriously.Just stay the f**k out of her life.Or else.." Rishab's pointed finger withdrew to form a fist.

Suyash's eyes squinted."Or else what?" He almost sneered.

"I as sure as hell am gonna Priyanka tell all about you and your filthy game.And then we are gonna spill the beans to Shruti.It would be fun to see you returned to the place you deserved from the very start.From a two-timer to a zero-timer." Rishab's eyes and voice mocked Suyash as the words left his mouth.

It came out of nowhere.Suyash's fist hammered into Rishab's face as Suyash brought the entire weight of his broad shoulders behind that blow.Rishab staggered back from the impact,clutching his nose.It hurt bad.He brought his right hand out to see it smeared with blood.Damn it!!His nose was bleeding like a leaky faucet.

Rishab saw Suyash lunge for him.But this time he was ready.He brought his knees down in a squatting position and then rose up with as much velocity he could manage,just as Suyash was inches from him.He balled his right hand into a fist as he shot up and caught Suyash in his chin followed by his nose.Suyash toppled backwards,holding his nose just as Rishab had done a few seconds earlier.Rishab saw with some satisfaction that his nose had started to bleed too.

A crowd had started gathering in the canteen to grab a piece of the action.
"This isn't over punk!!!" Suyash growled as he stormed off from the canteen,leaving quite a few questioning looks staring in his direction.

"You can bet your life on that.Punk!!!" Rishab muttered under his breath.
***
Rishab had called up Priyanka at least five times the day he had been at the multiplex.It was then that he had recalled that Priyanka was supposed to be out of station at her grandma's place for the weekend.She must have switched off her phone to avoid roaming charges.She wasn't supposed to be back to college before Tuesday.

It was Monday evening and Rishab figured she should be back home by now.Now was the time to call her up and spill everything.

Pri:Hello.
Priyanka's voice sounded a little gruff.
Rish:Hi Pri,this is important.You have to get the hell away from that Suyash character.He is a two-timing spineless cheater.He is one sick bastard.He..
Pri:Just shut the hell up,will you?
Rish:Whaa..??
Pri:Suyash was right.You're one filthy goofball.So this is how you repay what your friends have done for you,huh?No wonder you don't have any friends.And no wonder you can't attract any gal on your own.
Rish:Just what the hell are you...
Pri:Oh,just shut the F up!And I'm never gonna tell anything about me and Suyash to Shruti,do you hear?If you think you can just come up and say anything about Suyash and I'll believe you,you are dead wrong.And never ever call me again.And just hear me out,if you again so much as dare to butt your sorry butt between me and Suyash,I promise you there'll be hell to pay.
Rishab was aghast as Priyanka angrily disconnected her phone.

***
Forty minutes ago
Suyash[on phone]:Hi Pri,something happened today at college.Something really ugly.I just had to ask.Is everything all right between you and that lab-partner of yours?

Pri,surprised:Why?

Suyash made no effort to conceal his irritation."Just what on earth am I supposed to make out if a guy barges up to me and threatens me to stay the f*** out of your life.So I had to ask.You told me you two cooked up this shit about you two being together and all.Was it really all just fake?Or did you two really have something going together?"

Pri's agitation-meter recorded a sharp rise."How can you say that,Suyash?We had nothing between us.I have no clue why Rishab did what he did to you."Inside herself,Pri was racking her brains trying to come up with a decent explanation as to why Rishab would do anything like that.

"Hell.I told that jackass to mind his own business.And do you know what he did next?He punched me in the face.Just out of nowhere.Made my nose bleed.I swear I would have torn him to pieces had he not been your friend,Pri."Suyash said,gritting his teeth.

"He did what?" exclaimed a shell-shocked Priyanka.

"Yeah.And not only that.He threatened that he would spill everything to Shruti.And he even went on to say,he would convince YOU to do that for him.Said you would believe anything he said.That ass!!!!"

"I just don't get it.W-why?" Priyanka's mind was in a haze by now.

"Ain't it obvious,Pri?That guy has the hots for you.You said how he took the blame for you during the second-semester lab assignment episode.Why should any guy do something like that for a gal?Until and unless,he is downright desperate to impress her.Hell,I think he even assumed you would come running into his arms after that.I have seen a lot of desperate shit-heads in my time,Pri.And this filthy goofball,Rishab,seems to be the king of that pack.Now that he has seen us going out together,he is probably eating his balls up in jealousy."

Priyanka bit her lip.She obviously knew Rishab had once been really into her.And what Suyash was saying had occurred to her before.But she had thought,Rishab had outgrown all that.He never tried to hit on her after first semester.Even after that second-semester episode,he never expressed any desire to have her in his life in any other capacity than just a friend.But now,all this.
Damn you,Rishab.Just why are you so hell bent on putting me in such f**ked up situations all the time?
"B-But,he's going out with Megha,Suyash.Why should he be jealous NOW?"She asked this more to herself than to Suyash.

"We don't really know anything about what's going on between the two of them,do we now?"Suyash argued persuasively."Maybe she's just not his type.And things ain't working out between them.And on top of that,he sees me with you at the multiplex on Friday.That shit-head must  have got fired up with envy then and there."

"And you know what?" Suyash's bitter voice continued its onslaught."I'm willing to bet my life that he will come to you with some cooked up shit regarding how I'm a two-timing jerk who is playing you and Shruti at the same time.The way he talked to me made it pretty clear what was on his mind."

"Hmm." was all Priyanka could manage her lips and tongue to spell out.

"Priyanka,you love me,right?"His husky voice was suddenly dripping with wet emotion.

"Of course,I do,Suyash.You know that as well as I do."Priyanka's heart skipped a beat whenever she heard herself reaffirm her love to him.Even after one month since they Suyash declared his love for her.

"Then promise me you won't let Rishab come between us.It'll hurt me too much,if you do.I think I'll die without you.After what happened today,it's either him or me,Pri.You have to choose,and you have to choose now."The intensity in Suyash's voice pierced through the soft corners of her heart.The corners which harboured sweet,love-filled thoughts of him and only him.

"I promise,Suyash."She said solemnly."If Rishab does anything nasty,I promise I'll make him pay."
***
It wasn't hard for Rishab to construct what must have happened between Priyanka and Suyash to make her react to him in that fashion.
Why,that slimy sonofa....Priyanka was falling into that scoundrel's trap and he couldn't come up with anything to stop him.Shit was happening!!Deeeep shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued...

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