Love and other bugs

Love and gals never made much sense to Rohit.They were to him what modern abstract art is to the vast majority of people.Meaningless and over-rated.

Rohit of course was never alone in this.Just like a million others from Mars,he was totally clueless and confused regarding what made a Venusian tick.Failures might be the pillars of success but where women are concerned,there are probably too many pillars crowding Mars right now.Success just has no room left to breathe on that god-forsaken planet.Hell,it won't be too surprising if it has packed its bags and left for Venus for good.So Mars can just kiss Venus’ arse!


Till now,Rohit’s long spell of Martian single-hood had been punctuated only with short bursts of casual dates and flings.In Rohit’s world,short meant anything from a couple of hours to a couple of days.But definitely not more.Flunking the exam of love came naturally to Rohit.And he flunked royally.

But he debunked chicks royally too.

He was one of the most popular contributors to his company’s internal blog forum.He sprinkled his blogs with liberal doses of vitriolic remarks against gals in general,and hot chicks in particular.Calling grapes sour does not make them sour,but they sure do take away a lot of sourness from the mind.Political correctness and diplomacy be damned.The easiest way to attract the moths of readers’ traffic is to spark the fires of controversy.And Rohit ignited infernos.Hell,some of the comments on his posts used to be bonfires in themselves.Men were all praises for his guts,and women were out for his guts.Rohit relished both.Until on a not so fine a day…

“Hey Mr Ro-shit...so little baby cries himself to sleep every night...wetting his pillows wishing for a gal to luv him?Do you wet your bed too?”

Rohit stared for ten seconds at this ping in the window of his company’s chatting software.It didn’t take a descendant of Einstein to figure out that this small bundle of praise being heaped on him right now was a side-effect of his chauvinistic blogs.Angry brickbats from gals was a part of his life.But till now,they had just been restricted to comments on his blog posts.This was the first time someone had actually pinged him.
So someone finally decided to take the bull by its horns.


”What,cat got your tongue?Or did a chick make you chicken out?” Another ping followed,even before he had the time to come up with a witty repartee.

Rohit squinted at the name.Ankita Agarwala.He didn’t know her.But this bitch was getting on his nerves.His fingers flew over the keyboard.

”Hi,cat didn’t get my tongue.A catwoman did.With sharp claws and all.I wonder why.Had too much of stinky fish to eat,did she?Coz her words sure do stink!!!!”

Ankita’s reply was furiously fast.“Hah!Look who’s talking.Who writes all that shit on blogs about women,shit-head?I had been following you for sometime now.You certainly have some major rejection issues.I suggest you go see a shrink.”

Ouch! That was totally under the belt!!And cheap!!
Or so Rohit thought. No one likes to be reminded of bitter truths. Even when they are so obviously apparent to oneself and also to everybody else. He started typing again.

“Ms. Crankita Ogre-wala,please do mind your language.All our chat conversations get recorded,you know.If you have the guts not to chicken out,why don’t we just meet mano-a-mano and see this to the finish?What say?Food Court,in front of the Amul Counter @ 4 PM?Or do you just prefer to shout and rant @ people from the safety of your chat window?”

“Pah!!Challenge accepted!!!See u sharp @ 4.Just bring along a fresh pair of undies along.You are gonna shit in your pants!!I am gonna make u!!!”

Some wild untamed Amazon she was!Rohit felt a bit intimidated,and yet strangely aroused.

Little did he know,their meeting was about to change his life upside down.

To be continued….