The following is an entry for Indiblogger's Internet is fun on Vodafone contest.I had a recent chit chat with Zonny the Zoo Zoo.Totally imaginary,of course.;-) Following is an excerpt.Enjoy.Ohh,and if your poor brain makes it out alive of all the pummeling I am going to unleash on you,do please visit this Vodafone link here.That's it from my side.Peace out!
Zonny the Zoo Zoo: Ever wondered why we are called Zoo Zoo's? It's not like our species haunt the zoos all the time or something.
Me: Beats me.Your creators were fans of the song Zoo Zoo Zoobi Zoobi Zoobi?
Zonny: I honestly dunno.Which movie was that from?
Me: Can't place it.It had Mithun da in full dancing glory,that much I remember.
Zonny: Gimme a sec.(Fishes out his mobile,types in a search phrase)Hmm.Dance Dance.Music director,Bappi Lahiri.
Me: You think you can play the song?Video streaming works cool on your gadget?
Zonny: Smooth as silk.Here.(YouTube app starts playing the song)
Me: Quite a feet tapping tune.
Zonny: Weird thing.Tune seems oddly familiar.You heard Brother Louie by Modern Talking?
Me: Doesn't ring a bell.
Zonny: Let's ring it then.(types in his cell again).Here.Watch.
Me(whistles): So much for originality.By the way,excellent streaming.3G?
Zonny: You betcha.Good.Great.Grand.Total 3G.
Me(chuckles): Speaking of 3G,you were supah-awesomalicious in that superhero ad.Was a pleasure to watch in IPL breaks.Don't see you guys around much these days tho?What gives?
Zonny: You can't have too much of a good thing,dude.Becomes zaded.
Me(thoughtfully): Makes sense.
Zonny goes on punching away intently at his smartphone.
Me: Whadya up to?
Zonny: Tweeting and FB-ing this shit. The Modern Talking version as well as the Bappi Lahiri one.
Me: People would be interested?
Zonny: Duh!5 likes and 2 comments already.And it's just been 55 seconds.
Zonny(chuckles): He he!Check out these comments.One is saying-"Genuine Music Piracy." And another guy followed it up with..."Pritam and Bappida-The Pirates Of The Bay Of Bengal."(shakes his head gleefully) These guys nah!
Me: Pirates Of The Bay of Bengal,huh? Might send Johhny Depp into a Depp-ression!
Zonny(chuckles again): LOL.Wait.Lemme put that up here.(types again)Yup done!
Me: Bless your soul.
Z(rubbing his round tummy):Am famished.Any joints to eat nearby?
Me: You are the one with Google Search in your pockets.
Z: Right.(fingers moving furiously again)When you are gonna make yourself useful?Ok.Two Chinese restaurants nearby.One continental and another Italian.Which one would it be?
Me: Chinese.Need to wrap my fork around some noodles.
Z: I prefer my fork to dig into pasta and spaghetti.
Me: How you exactly gonna eat?You just have a curve drawn on your face for a mouth.At most,it widens into a toothy smile.Solid.Impenetrable.
|"Eating through painted mouths?Still a mystery."|
Z(frowning): You think they didn't think of a way around this manufacturing defect,already?
Me: They did?
Z: Duh.If we can't eat,how do you figure our tummies remain round and full all the time?
Me: So how do you guys eat?
Z: Trade secret.
Me: Trade secret?
Z: Can't let the competition know.Else they will bring out their own Zoo Zoo s in no time.
Me: You guys that important?
Z: Believe it.One of the competitors actually thought of launching a mobile game.It had helpless,harmless zoo zoos being flung around by a catapult.Objective was to crash as many Vodafone towers as possible with them.And you know what they called that shit?
Me: Lemme guess.Angry Zoo Zoos?
Z: Yeah,right,Angry Zoo Zoos.No prizes for guessing what that got ripped off from.I found it downright mean.What did we ever do to those folks anyway?
Me: You mean,except giving their marketing teams sleepless nights?
Z: Duh!Is it our fault we are so damn cuddly and funny?We can't help if people find us cuter than the IPL cheerleaders.
Me: Guess not.
Z: Speaking of games,I got this rad game here.Assassin's Creed.Altair's chronicles.Played?
Me: On my android tablet.It's from Gameloft,is it not?
Z: Hell yeah. That Gameloft site has an amazing bunch of games.
Me: You should give EA Mobile and Jamster a shot too.As far as mobile games are concerned,they rule.
Z: Hmm.Wait.I'll forget.(fingers fly on the phone again)Lemme just open those sites and bookmark 'em.
Me: As you wish,monsieur!
Z(chortling): French,huh? My gf has a fetish for French. She even insisted we Skype in French for a change.Can you beat that?
Me: Well I am talking to a talking Zoo Zoo.Can stuff get any weirder?
Z: Tee Hee.Lame,man!
Me: Whatever. So what did you do? Enrolled for a French class?
Z: Nyah. That's old school. I just downloaded an app.Easy French.
Me: That app any good?
Z(winks): Well, when Easy French couldn't do the job, I could always fall back on Google Translate and Babylon.
Z: Ain't I? By the way(slaps his forehead),I almost forgot. Promised my gal I would buy a Smart TV for her. Any idea where I should start fishing?You know,get a good deal without twitching a leg muscle and all that sortofa thing?
Me: You checked MySmartPrice.com? Or MRPinIndia.in? Pretty good as far as online price comparisons are considered.
Z(cackling): All info at fingertips,baby!!! Mobile internet.Heeee Haaaaw!Best thing to happen since guilt-free sex.
Me(smiling too): Okaaaay!
Z: But wait up! Gotta check if I have the dough.(gets back to his phone.A bank site comes up on his phone's screen)
Z: Recognized.Hmmm.(looking intently at his phone screen) Whadya know? TCS shares gone up.May as well sell me some shares.
Me: A Zoo Zoo who eats Italian, speaks French and trades in Indian shares?This keeps getting better and better.
Me(tight-lipped smile): Neutral observation.
Z: I guess telling you how I pay my utility and my grocery bills isn't going to do anything to dilute your incredulity.
Me: Lemme guess.Those happen from your fingertips too? Oxicash? Mobile wallet and all that new age hoopla?
Zoo Zoo just grins.
Me: You know you worry me Zoo Zoo.You give your fingers a harrowing time.Worried about Carpal Tunnel Syndrome much?
Z(winks): A Zoo Zoo ain't got no bones.No bone injury to beat your head over.Manufacturing ingenuity.
Me: That explains it.
Z: You don't seem to be particularly fond of this mobile internet thing.Any heart-breaks?
Me: Well I got ripped off once.Coughed up more than I bargained for. From that point on,I am a lil wary of surfing on my mobile.
Z(sympathetically): I hear ya!There are a gazillion super-cool mobile internet products and services out there.But folks don't realize that the system resembles pay-per-view more than all-you-can-eat.
Me: That's where I goofed up.Mobile browsing is charged by the amount of data sent and received.Not for time spent on the network, as is true with voice calls.I didn't pay much attention to these costs,until I got my first...and my last..wireless internet bill.
Z: Quick tip.You should totally check your wireless carrier's on portal service.
Z: Vodafone has this super-cool made-for-mobile portal with a rich array of products and services available for you to enjoy. The sites you can browse from that portal are considered on-portal.
Me: You sooo sound like a pushy salesman when you say that.
Z: Duh!What do you think we came to this earth for?It's all in our genes baby.Born this way!
Me: Perfect!And just what are these quote ..unquote.. rich array of products and services?
Z: News, weather, sports, finance, travel and that kinda stuff.Best thing.No extra charges.Plus other goodies.You know... buy ringtones, wallpapers, videos, music, and games and all that jazz.
Me: Hmmm.Anything else I should be overly delighted about?
Z: You can totally turn your cell into a pocket TV.Listen to music.Do FB,Myspace,Yahoo.The regular shit!Give it a spin.Just be a lil careful with your plan and you will be good to go.
Me: Let's just grab some lunch.Once my tummy is content,I can think about it.
Z: Amen!And by the way,these HAT s suck!(starts to take off his Human Audio Translator)Beastly uncomfy!
Me: How on earth are we gonna talk otherwise,Einstein?It's not as if I do Zoo Zoo talk.
Z: I think we chatted a lot already.I need to give my gal a call.So veuillez m'excuser .
Z(snickers): French for please excuse me.You totally need Easy French.
Me(rolls eyes): Say hi to Susan for me,will ya?
Me(rolls eyes): Say hi to Susan for me,will ya?
Z: It's ZoouZaan.With Z's not S.Gosh.Why do people get that wrong all the time?
(French for The End,you idiots!!!)
(French for The End,you idiots!!!)