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May 31, 2012

Acidic

You know,sometimes I wonder about the kind of culture we live in.Five days back,I read in the newspapers that Ritu Saini,a class XI student and a volleyball player,had acid thrown on her face by two youths in their twenties.A year earlier, two bikers had thrown acid on three girl students when they were returning home after their tuition classes.In July 2011,Kiran, a girl of 17, died in Sonipat after two youths on motorcycle had done the same despicable thing to her.

Why did a girl,who is not even out of her teens, have acid thrown on her?'Coz ...wait for it...she had rejected the marriage proposal of the main accused, Sanjay.

The motive in all the above cases is the same.Revenge.For having been snubbed.Proposals of friendship,love,marriage.Apparently permanently scarring the girls is the way to exact revenge for these rejected ass-holes who possess lesser emotional maturity than a drop of bird poop.

I mean,seriously? A girl blows you off and the only thing you can think of doing is targeting her vulnerability in this brutal,sadistic shit-holish way?The entire nation is going crazy about rape and all,while these mother-fuckers are happily spray-painting the faces of women  with muriatic acid.What kind of a sick mind does it take to do that?

Look,I know rejection hurts,alright?It is like being told on your face that no matter what you feel for this person,you are just not good enough for her.And it is hard not to writhe in insult and agonize over how you can possibly get back at her for the world of misery she has drowned you in right now.But dude,the anger is supposed to go away. Rejection is a part of life. You cannot go on obsessing over it like a kid who has just been denied his candy.I mean,permanently disfiguring and mutilating someone?What if someone did the same shit to your mother? Or your sister? Or even you?!!!  That's your solution to the equation of proposal and rejection? Screw you!

And this brings me to the larger picture. How on earth can a girl ever feel safe if scoundrels like these are roaming the streets,lanes and pavements she frequents?Guys who go way beyond just throwing lecherous glances and snide comments.Guys who are in perpetual conflict with their testosterone,aggression and impulse.So much so that they just can't think with their pea-sized brains regarding  the consequences of their actions.

Look,I know a lot of people (guys and gals alike) make a big deal of how a woman chooses to dress and all that.Skimpy outfits attract rapists,or so they say.You know something?It is so F-ing convenient to put the blame on the victim. Even if it was true that women dressing provocatively were more likely to get raped, it would still not be their fault. It is presented as if men had no power over their actions and just couldn't help themselves at the sight of a scantily clad woman.I wonder if this means people can avoid car jackings by driving unwanted cars,or a bike.As far as I am concerned,I don't think dressing more 'appropriately' will help reduce the possibility of a woman getting raped in any way.Having the misfortune of being near a rapist is what increases the chances of being raped, regardless of attire. Opportunities for rapists are not so abundant that they can afford to be very choosy. It's situational or compulsion based.

And you know,all this-this overwhelming plethora of negative feelings and biases against women,this can never prove to be healthy for our culture.Every guy wants a bride who can take care of his parents and his children.They often forget that leaving her family to settle down with another is itself a huge adjustment.And pile on top of it unrealistic expectations like she is gotta be able to cook,manage the house-work, raise the children,haggle with the grocery man for the best prices, and satisfy the hubby at the same time.I mean it is a shit load of work!Being a home-maker is a full time activity which keeps my mom on her toes all the time.And yet,even today we expect a woman who is almost as well educated as us to know how to cook a great meal,how to give a great leg massage to our elders,carry the drinks on a tray into the drawing room whenever guests visit,do this,do that,blah blah and blah.The degrees she might have under her belt don't matter.The effort and money her parents invested in getting her a quality education doesn't matter.All of that is basically a huge preparation phase for her to become the ideal house-wife(read,all-rounder tireless machine with 10 hands to juggle 100 different activities at the same time).

And at the heart of all this is a set of gender-based stereotypical expectations which a man and a woman are supposed to fulfill.A guy is supposed to be the bread-earner.He is supposed to earn more than the girl.And the girl is supposed to return this favor by being the best spouse imaginable.I mean,seriously,festivities like Karwa Chauth and all,what do they mean in today's context?I don't have a problem with women staying hungry wishing for the safety of their husbands.But why isn't there a festivity where a guy does the same for his woman?Why blindly follow a religious practice which so obviously relegate women to a secondary position alongside men?

We are a part of a culture,which has somehow become very comfortable with zero accountability with respect to crimes against women.I wonder,if I have a kid one day,and it is a cherubic little daughter,how the hell am I gonna raise her?It's like every time she steps out of the house,I will be worried sick.I wonder what the lawmakers would suggest women do to protect themselves then.Cover oneself from head to toe with bandages like a mummy straight out of a archaeological dig? Like,don't show any skin at all.Lest the potential otherwise gentle-hearted rapists get tempted to do something ugly.Which,even if it happens,would totally be the fault of my daughter anyway.A tiny fraction of her cheek was showing through the bandages,and the accused(blessed soul) couldn't resist the temptation which she had so provocatively dangled in front of him.She asked for it.C'mon,what was she thinking?

Reactions:

10 comments:

  1. Welcome to our world. If only more people actually had your thoughts. Given that the Gurgaon police pretty much just banned women from stepping out after 8.....well...we know where this country is headed.

    Thoughtful post.

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    1. @Shreya Yup.Being a woman in a conservative hypocritical society like ours can often seem like a curse.:-(

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  2. Dude! I am not going to say anything feminist here, but I loved the way you've taken woman safety issue here. Brilliant. *Applauds*

    More men like you and the world could be a better place. :D :)

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    1. @MSM There are plenty of guys like me.:-) Don't worry.

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  3. Wonderfully written Rahul! It's a pity that so many people in this country still regard women in such an archaic, irrational manner. So much for India Shining.

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    1. @Ash :-( Yes.I wonder when all these outdated conceptions will be dumped for good.

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  4. True.

    It's all in the mind. Not in the way they dress, not in the way they behave.

    Women are not to be seen as mere sex objects. And this needs to come through not just in words, but in thought, and their portrayal as well.

    Right, R? :)

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    1. @phatichar You nailed it bro!!!!:-)

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  5. Very Well written. You mirrored the sentiments of many out there. You have taken up so many issues and yet have managed to put your point across.

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    1. @Anjee I am glad you feel that way.:-)

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