Stormtroopers

A long time ago.

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Light sabers

In a galaxy far, far away.

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Yoda

DO or DO NOT. There is no TRY.

Darth Vader

No, I'm your father.

Villains

You don't know the power of the dark side.

The Force Awakens

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X-Wing Fighter

Long live the Rebel Alliance.

January 15, 2012

Neutralized

"I wonder how people do it. Stay happy all the time. Laughing away,drowning their miseries and plight in a sea of mirth and euphoria. I just don't get it. It makes me immensely jealous. My life just seems to me like an endless stretch of desolate barrenness. All the gymming in the world hasn't given my shoulders enough strength to carry the burden of my existence. Everything seems hollow. Pointless. Like something lodged in your heart, which you can never seem to get out. It just stays there, bleeding you, hurting you.Forcing you to serve a lifetime sentence in a prison of pain.

This living thing. Highly overrated,it seems to me. Maybe we should all just be born with a switch.Which we can turn off at will to shut down our lives. At least, that should be possible without inviting any further agony and affliction.If such a switch had been there,I would have flicked it off long ago.Then again,I reflect on what people tell me. Suicide is what cowards do. Think about how that would affect your near and dear ones.Well,I thought about them. And frankly,I am not convinced.Call me selfish.But when you feel every neuron in your brain just shrivelling up and dying every day,you really can't force yourself to think about others.I wish there were someone to hug me right now.Tell me, everything is going to be ok.Someone I could just believe blindly and weep in her arms just like a baby.Pity there is nobody in my life like that.Anyway,life had ups and it had downs. Thanks to my screwed up psyche,I always focussed on the downs more than the ups.But it is all going to end today.I don't know where the road leads to from here.I don't think there is a better place waiting for me at the other side.I would rather have my existence wiped off completely.

So good-bye everyone.May you find the peace I never had."

As he penned the last words of his suicide note,he took one final long look at his surroundings.He hoped the familiarity of his room would provide some comfort in his last hours on earth.But just as all the hopes he cherished before,this too burnt out in the friction against disappointment.He sighed one last time.He popped the entire bottle of sleeping pills inside himself.And waited.

He wondered,if there would be a next life.And whether even that would be as messed up as this one.He smiled.What a joke this life had been. All calculations misfired. All expectations dashed. All anticipations neutralized.And now his entire existence.Neutralized.

He closed his eyes.He felt consciousness slipping away.A black cloud enveloped him.Wherever I am headed,here I come....was the final thought as he sunk into darkness.

*The End*

Reactions:

17 comments:

  1. this is a reality, but i hoped you'd never write from this angle (i hope you understand what i wanted to say here.),
    There are ways to over come, believe me when i say i've been there and i've pulled myself out, i know what am talking bout.
    No i do not believe suicide is what cowards do, its like divorce, should be the last option, after everything.
    If one's never tried and then gives up yes i do so say myself, that the person is a cowards, but when they do try and still do not find nothing, i believe it was written for him in the big book/ fate whatever you call it.
    Things have a reason, they always, do.
    The universe has its own way of showing one how to deal.
    I believe the universe wouldn't give you troubles/hurdles/disappointments which you couldn't handle.

    Theres this thing my friend always says. " Thinking it is wanting it. Whatever it maybe"
    The good-the bad the ugly-the beautiful,these come in pair to those who keep on waiting for it.
    But imagine if he'd never waited for it, if he'd just changed his outlook for more than a trial period, would he be dead i believe differently.
    This is my personal opinion.-
    And if one dies without fulfilling the reason- why the universe choose them to b here in the first place- then s/he will come back in flesh or air, to fulfil it. There is no escaping.

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  2. The thing about being happy - look at the most unfortunate person around u ..and feel comfort in having less pain. Fight back , it is worth it , save yourself for another time . This reminds me of a song -die another day ;)

    Left goosebumps ! no more sucide post pls! :P

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  3. Whew! Now this is GREAT writing because you had me convinced that this was an auto-biography! I was worried and then I saw the 'fiction' label! Time to exhale now ;)

    I felt every line and thought. Sometimes we go through very dark times in our lives and don't seek the medical attention needed. It's very sad because I think if everyone had that one special person (like you referred to in your story) the outcome of these tragic situations could have been resolved.

    I hope everyone, no matter how deep they sink into their darkness will choose life In the future, stick the 'fiction' label at the top :P

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  4. hmmm ... the switch i wish there was one at times.. :P .. it seemed a bit too realistic, till i reached the 4th para :) ... loved it ....

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  5. I am actually staying out of fiction stories for some time. Probably, that is why I have stayed away from commenting here. :P

    So, why this time even though the label is fiction? Because I read a recent post of a fellow blogger who said that he was seriously thinking of killing himself due to recent happenings in his life. It was a very heartfelt and honest post and though I ended up writing a big comment on that one. This post reminded me of that.

    I know sometimes situation comes when one can think of no better option than this, and this feeling is actually reflected in your fictional suicide note. However, I hope nothing anything remotely similar is happening with you...

    P.S - The eternal optimist that I am, I know I know that suicide is something I will never think about, as I love myself way too much.. :P

    But, on a fictional note, it would be quite interesting to leave this world without a note actually. Mystery has great appeal! :P

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  6. Rahul,while i was reading this post,it was like some mental theater is running inside my mind...
    Good one bravo!

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  7. Man you scared me. I thought you were gonna kill youself :/
    Then I read the last two paras....
    Good one!

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  8. The start of this post said it all. I find very few people who speak THIS honestly.

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  9. @Rachika
    :-) I don't believe anything has a purpose.:-) My existence just like anybody else's is a function of probabilistic randomness.But anyway thank you so much for caring.It really means a lot to me.I don't want to express how grateful I am to you here...coz then I will have to pen a mile long comment.We shall save it for our chat sessions,I guess.:-) AND again..thank you so much...

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  10. @S
    All of you are unnecessarily worried.Chill.It's fiction.:-)

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  11. @~*Princesa Fiona*~
    Hehe..SO you too took this stuff way too seriously?:-) Fiction,your highness.Just fiction.

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  12. @KunalI agree with the mystery part.:-) It's certainly more ...how should I put it....elegant...:-D

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  13. @My_Mirror_ImageNow what's your real name?First it was Amigo.Now it is something else.TOmorrow maybe something different?You have a name which doesn't change with time?:-D
    And thanks.

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  14. @Red HandedLooks like I made this fiction too realistic.:-D

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  15. @I do, I do.Ahh well..I will take that as a compliment.THanks.:-)

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  16. This post will stay close to my heart.. :(

    i have no more words flowing out right now..but i mean it. .it will stay close to my heart.really.truly.

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