Rejection hurts.I mean it hurts me at least.It is like I am emotionally investing in an association with a person,and somewhere deep down,I can't help feeling bad over that investment not reaping enough dividends.Somehow,rejection seems to imply,no matter how highly I regard a person and how deeply I respect him/her, to that person I just don't come across as 'good enough'.I am not 'companionship material' to the person in question.Trust me,it hurts.
Of course,with hurt comes anger and bitterness.And we tend to become victims of distorted thinking which seem to imply that there is either something wrong with us for being rejected or something wrong with our 'rejectors' for not seeing the good in us.None of these viewpoints really help us in any way.People might reject us due to a variety of reasons-most of which have something to do with them rather than us.Subjective preferences and a host of factors in a person'r life go to determine whether he/she really wants to open up to your companionship or not. The key is-never take a rejection too personally.Being disapproved by another person no way reflects poorly on your own worth or value.It doesn't make you any less desirable or less lovable.It is just a temporary setback,and the more importance you attach to this disturbing episode,the more insidious and harmful its effects will get.One should develop a high tolerance for rejection and just get on with life.It never really benefits to mope about it for days on end.Life is too short to indulge in such fruitless pursuits.And actually,one might actually learn a couple of valuable lessons from such experiences in life.It might be a mistake you made,or it just might be recognizing a hitherto unfamiliar aspect of human behavior.And above all,it gives you a chance to outgrow yourself.Combat your self-limiting beliefs,destroy your mental blocks and shatter the ugly clouds of melancholy in which your mind might get enshrouded.
And also,there is really no point in being mad at that person.Very recently,I broke off ties with a person I really admired and cared about.I still do.The only thing was-for some reason or the other,that person probably didn't care about our friendship the way I did.And as I already mentioned in my past post, I hate being in a relationship where the dynamic is being controlled by another person. To me,friendship or any association of any meaning doesn't work that way. Interestingly,the person was least bothered to see our friendship come to an end.But then again,there must have been reasons for whatever the person did.I was mad at the whole episode yesterday,but today better senses and judgement ultimately prevailed.:-) I whole-heartedly wish that person spends a happy satisfied life.No complaints,no issues,no objections.
Peace.Amen!
Easier said than done my friend!! But I like the logic you have used- rejection is to do with the other person and not with us!
ReplyDelete@Zeba Life is a bitch true...But the way we look at things,might make life wag its tail sometimes too...:-D
ReplyDelete@Meera True.Easier said than done.But I made a start today.I could end up hating the person I cut myself off from.But I didn't.Let's see where this mindset takes me.:-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Meera, Indeed it is easier said than,
ReplyDeleteWhat if the whole universe you built up was around that person, and then out the blue it collapse, what to do then?
Run round in circles like a Headless turkey?
How about just learning to stay away from love and love yourself for a change????
Deletecan one stay away from love of another be it friend or lover or family?
Deletecan one survive without love of the above, can you stay away from the love of life, and then *ka-boom* it blows up in your face.
Love might make life more meaningful..but it is not a necessity..like food or air or water....If you can't believe that,then you will always remain a love addict desperately needing someone else's approval and love to survive....Many people are single and still perfectly happy.....Cmon,it is you who used to tell me...love yourself for what you are....don't make the love you have for yourself dependent on things external to you...Then why are you giving up on yourself now??
DeleteThere are many more fish in the sea. Go hunting and you'll get the best pick :P
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult indeed. Everyone has their own way of looking at things, and a relationship can break due to that. Rejections are painful. But with time, the pain does heal. Hopefully. :)
Ahh yes...time is the best healer...:-)
Deleteoh yes it hurts a lot! but no point suffocating urself everyday in something which doesnt please u anymore and with someone who hardly cares!
ReplyDeletelegging go is hard but sometimes the best solution. and we start learning it with time. Don't we? :)
sarah
Indeed we do..:-)
DeleteOh I just read this!!
ReplyDeleteYes, Amen would be correct to say whenever things happen the way you've penned here! :)
Let go..