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November 6, 2011

Maid of Dishonour

My mom always had a love-hate relationship of sorts with all our housemaids.She loves to hate them.And the housemaids hate to love her.;-)
Kaamwali Bai!!Mess with her at your own risk!

Their constants bickering have set many a lazy morning on fire.And today it set close to an hour ablaze with an inferno which threatened to suck in each and every member of our family.:-D

Today morning I get woken up not by any alarm clock but the high-pitched exchange of accusations and counter-accusations between mom and our maid.
 earthquake? bombs blasting? a MIG-29 aircraft crashed into our building??
*groans*Ohh dear,it's the beginning of Maid Wars Season 222.

Mom has been cribbing about her for quite some time now.To virtually anybody who cares,or even doesn't care, to listen.The guy who delivers gas to us,the guy who sometimes drives us around in our car,my aunt,my friend's mom,my father's friend,my father's friend's wife-as I said,virtually anybody and everybody,who cares to nod understandingly at her complaints and utter one or two words of sympathy and solace.
It's ok,dear.Everyone knows a 'good maid' is an oxymoron.Like 'moderate taliban' or  'honest politicos'.
But till today it's been mostly about my mom.Today my father and elder bro got their own dose of the heat of battle as well.As for me,well..I kinda hovered around in the background.
Stay put,Rahul!Let the grown-ups take care of this menace!!

They went toe-to-toe with the maid and at one point of time,our maid was valiantly fighting off the combined attacks of the three single-handedly.Much like a kick-ass Lara Croft against a mythical three-headed monster.
Before Maid Wars.
After Maid Wars!
Needless to say,she was making her points,however absurd they were,with full gusto.The three-pronged offensive strategy of my family almost got blunted by her blitzkrieg of emotion-charged excuses and rantings.And with four people shouting the roof off in my house,for a moment there,I felt like being stranded bang in the middle of some head-banging ,atrociously high-decibel Metallica rock concert.You can imagine what an exquisitely grand time your peace-loving serenity-serenading Monumentally Cranky must have been having.
All that noise!!Is it finally over?

And then there was some queer item in today's front page news,which said that a guy died in his sleep while listening through headphones to a laptop which was being charged through a live socket.My elder bro and dad were lecturing me on the vices of laptop addiction citing this rare example with a turbo-charged enthusiasm which will probably match that of Tendulkar when he will hit his hundredth century someday.Thing is they were lecturing me in English.And my maid thought that we were lambasting her in English.So again,her battle-ready mode resurfaced,with her indignant-at-the-injustice-heaped-on-her mode in tow,accusing us of complaining about her in a language she doesn't understand.
You wanna piece of me???Do ya!!!!!!???

My elder bro erupted like a mega-volcano and my dad erupted like a mini-volcano at this outrage.How dare she??I mean,how dare she??:-P
Anger Management..where art thou????

And after the maid left,our happy loving Hum Saath Saath Hai family fell to quarreling amongst ourselves.:-D
Bickering about three to four things which somehow involved the egos of all four of us ,things which bear absolutely no connection or relevance to each other and  which seem all so trifle as I write about all them now.:-)
So nobody understands nobody!!!

Quite a brilliant start to a lazy relaxing Sunday,I must say.;-) 

Reactions:

21 comments:

  1. Wow. Some maid, that:D
    I like the before after dragon pictures:P So apt...

    And as for maids making lives crazy, we have ours who comes for 15 minutes, 'cleans' and 'sweeps' and then leaves in return for the grand we shell out.
    The thing of wonderment is that, nothing looks 'cleaned' or 'swept' in the house.

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  2. @PeeVee Well,our maid was fighting like a tigress defending her cubs today...:-P
    And yep,'good maid' is an oxymoron...;-)

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  3. Haha ! Some-maid-day :D

    Hope the other half of the day goes fine!

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  4. @Sakshi :-) Yup.Let's hope so.

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  5. Bwahaha...
    Maids. Moms cannot live with them, they cannot even live without them. :P
    OMG! The clean-freak that my mom is and the laziest person on earth that my maid is, this is so common in my house. Every time I visit home and see the same maid,I am amazed how these two tolerate each other.
    This was hilarious. And, oh! My mom's the same, cribbing about the maid all the time. :P
    Also, the maid is more important than me. :|

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  6. @Anu He he....you now know that there is at least one fellow blogger who totally understands what you have to put up with..:-D

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  7. Aah maids, cant live with them, cant ignore them.

    Half decent Maids these days are so demanding and charge a bomb for their expertise.

    Howlarious one bud.

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  8. Rahul you are funny :-) maids can be innovative with their excuses...have a good weekend ahead...

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  9. My morning alarm is my mother and the maid yelling :)
    I'm so used to it now :D

    Check out my blog :) Got something for you :D

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  10. @Atrocious If only the bombing stopped at their charging part...:-P In our case,the bombs explode left,right and center at the most unexpected moments...;-)

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  11. @Philo He he....and as I said before.....thanks for the dedication..

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  12. @Rahul: our maid has been coming to our home for 35 years.. She is like a part of our family.. believe me when I say all the bickering is 10 times more this way.. she has a right to whip everyone in the house and most on the youngest member of the family (being me :( )
    but I just love her.. :) :)

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  13. nice post though.. :) hope you had a great sunday after this.. :) :)

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  14. maids are like - love it or hate it but you cant ignore it :D

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  15. @Arpitha A maid managed to survive for 35 years in a single household???????:-D Wow!!!!!!!...

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  16. @Pink Funny.The same thing is said about men-women relationships....;-)

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  17. Maids and moms are like those in saas-bahu soaps.They always find something wrong in the other. Mutual feeling you know :)

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  18. @Pooja LOL...:-D This was one of the best comments so far...

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  19. Hahahahahahahaaa. My mom does this too. Moms and maids always keep fighting,don't know why :P

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