A long time ago.

Site best seen in Chrome and Firefox.

Light sabers

In a galaxy far, far away.

Site best seen in Chrome and Firefox.


DO or DO NOT. There is no TRY.

Darth Vader

No, I'm your father.


You don't know the power of the dark side.

The Force Awakens


X-Wing Fighter

Long live the Rebel Alliance.

February 12, 2012

Dance of darkness

... a better tomorrow..happiness... a reward -in exchange for the sacrifices she was making... .And the shoe-string thread which held all these together for her...Hope.

It was what kept her alive.She was never one who mingled with the crowd.She was always one who got lost in it.She was not one bubbling and frothing with social energy and enthusiasm.She was always one who quietly retired to the sidelines,content with just observing the people in and around her world.She found the world a phony place,where there were more masks than real faces.Faux,falsehood,lies,deceit.She knew life wasn't all about these ugly things.Somewhere beneath all that, the world was meant to be beautiful.But she saw people around her barely looking beyond the surface,failing to look beyond the deceptive appearances and gimmickry which people have so cunningly learnt to apply today.And she saw these very people burn,when they moved beyond the soft velvety bubble of affected goodness and peered into the ugliness within.She became skeptical.Cynical.Bitter.Angry.Love and companionship were meant to be playing in the cradle of truth and baptized with the holiness of loyalty and fidelity.But all around her,she saw love reduced to a travesty,a parody of its glory,a mockery of its inherent splendor.

She became unhappy.How could she find her prince,her knight,her inamorato,in shady times like these?She had so much to give,so much of affection waiting in her slender body,all locked away in the gilded chambers of her heart.Waiting,just waiting,for the right person to come and unlock the flood of pent up ardor.She had dammed up her river of devotion and adulation,desperately awaiting for someone to carefully dislodge the boulders of that barrier and offer her release.She had pulled down the curtains on her theatre of affection.If only someone would walk into her lonely theatre and enact her most cherished romantic fantasies.

And then like a miracle,like the odd flower that blooms in the winter,her delicate heart bloomed too.Producing beautiful flowers to bright up the snowing,gloomy winter in her life.He had arrived finally!But she didn't make it easy for him.How could she?She would surrender herself completely to him,grant him with the power of laying waste to her most fiercely protected wealth of vulnerability and softness.She had to be sure.

She reinforced her defenses.Made the walls around her heart harder to climb.He slipped trying to scale them.But he never gave up.From the topmost room in her fortress,she watched him.Watched him try,watched him fail.Watched him rise,only to fall again.She could feel it within her.She could feel his pain.And as the pain grew,she felt her resolve weaken.Cracks started creeping into the bricks of her imposing wall.The bricks couldn't hold out much longer.They crumbled under the weight of his persistence,his single-minded devotion,his unflinching loyalty to her...just her.So one day,inevitably,she raced into his comforting arms.She cried like a baby.She had finally got the release she had been waiting for so long.

But fate was cruel.And it had to shoot its poison-tipped darts at her happiness once again.Her parents never approved of him.And they were ageing.They wanted their daughter to lead a financially sound and comfortable life.She fought,for her love,for her future.A future she wanted to share with him,only him.He was her one hope,the singularity in time and space whose constancy and faithfulness she could count upon blindly.She didn't think there were too many people in the world who could even come close to understanding what she was all about,who could capture her essence,who could see her the way she wanted to be seen.In fact,she didn't think there were any.Save him.To give up on something so rare,so deficient in this selfish world,a resource so scarce-the thought tore her apart into a gazillion pieces till all that remained of her happiness,was a nebulous haze.But her sense of duty and gratitude towards her parents finally blunted her will to oppose and rebel.He was precious to her.And always would be.But he had to contest for her heart against over twenty-three years of care and nurturing by her parents.He really didn't stand much of a chance.

Sometimes she questioned her virtues,she questioned her goodness.Why was it so difficult for her to be successful in any relationship?Was she too selfish??So wrapped up in her  self-engendered trauma and troubles that she could never give her cent percent to anything?She couldn't be the ideal daughter,her ideals and dreams clashed with those of her parents'.She couldn't be the ideal lover.She had to desert him,shattering two people's dreams and desires in the process.And now she couldn't probably be the ideal wife either.How could she possibly love another man like she had loved him?She couldn't!!!She knew it.And it scared her.She was trying to make peace with it,but it still scared her...and scarred her.

Who knew?She could still be an ideal mother perhaps.Shower on her daughter the love she couldn't shower on anyone else.
These days,she stares at the mirror and sees a golden vision of lithe,lissome exquisiteness staring back at her.An angelic,cherubic face,dotted with two black circles of pain and mourning.She sees her brown tresses softly kiss her cheeks.How she wishes he could kiss them too.Her svelte frame has the finesse and suppleness of a nimble elegant classically trained danseuse.But she wishes to dance with him.Only him.Dance,for her,was a hidden language of the soul! When she danced,she danced like nobody's watching. She just let the music move her graceful,pliant body, let her feet dream, each movement she did was a symphony! Dance was an expression in happiness, joy, sadness, envy... she didn't think,she didn't need to,she just let her body take control! She couldn't explain to anybody,not even him,what the passion of dance meant to her.She could only dance to show him the meaning!Dance was her  pulse, a short-cut for happiness!

She stood up and let her body soak in the rhythm of the music.Her feet started speaking to her in a language of their own.Her body understood and fell obediently into the rhythm.Her dance had begun.The dance of darkness.....The dance which represented so much for her..... a better tomorrow..happiness... a reward -in exchange for the sacrifices she was making... .And the shoe-string thread which held all these together for her...Hope.



  1. ... this write up draws a melancholic feel in me.. beautiful one.. hope you are doing fine :)

  2. Ah, the odds of a relationship. The sentiments, the virtues, the passion, the fear, the doubts, the hestitation, all explained in a single post. Beautiful! :)

  3. WoW!! This is absolutely beautiful writing! I was totally spellbound in the tapestry of imagery, woven in every paragraph! Very poetic and wonderfully penned from start to finish {|:-)

  4. i guess the best part bout this narrative according to me was the no names, it could be everyone and anyone, it could be you, it could be me.
    I loved it.

  5. @i do i do thanks :)
    @radhika well.........ii just hope u r doing well too
    @arunima thank u so so much......i just hope i ve ben able to portray the female side of the equation well enuf
    @fiona thank u so much for ur kind words.......ur words made my day
    @philo :) thanks
    @rachika ahhh i was thinking u will feel that way.....altho i was mainly focusing on a female perspective here:)

  6. Well then i must say so this has been exceptionally well, you have good write up on how a female will feel. :)