The Sad Clown

You say he makes you laugh,

He knocks out your gloom with a staff.

You say he is so so funny,

He makes your life all bright and sunny.

Little do you know,behind his smile,

Each night he cries a river,cries a Nile.

Behind his bright shell,all colorful and crazy

Lies a tragic story,all dark and hazy.

He hides his sorrow,his plight.

Tries to hide away,fly away on humor's flight.

He smiles,but deep within,his smile is all upside down..

Know him well,he is your friend,the sad clown!!!!!

Every smile hides a frown,
I am the one..I am the sad clown!!!!!!

On his head,he wears a thorny crown
In cranky nonsense,he makes his pain drown
Nothing can describe him,no adjective,no noun-
Just one phrase and one only...the sad clown!!!!!

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F1 dog

So everyone has heard about the dog which broke into the F1 race track during the practice session,right????Yours Monumentally Cranky finally managed to get hold of that black dog for an exclusive interview.Hope you enjoy it.:-)

Who let the dogs out?Who..who..who..

Monumentally Cranky: So how does it feel to make it to the newspaper headlines? And what's with that blue scarf?[To himself]*Looks kinda adorable though!!*

Black Dog:Woof!!

Blue scarf!!The latest rage in dog fashion!!!All bitches simply dig this stuff.

MC:Umm...is that supposed to mean anything?

BD:Woof!Woof!

MC:Darn!!!!Sorry,my bad!!!Forgot to switch on my Canine Audio Translator.[To himself]*Funny,it abbreviates to C.A.T. I thought dogs hate cats!*

BD: Now you hear me,bonehead?I was barking my lungs out at you so long to turn that barking translator gizmo on,idiot!!!!!!!

Grrrr!!How do you plan on bridging the communication gap,you moron????

MC:My profuse apologies.This gadget is new to me,you see.But now getting back to my question-so how does it feel to gain international fame and recognition?

BD: Ahh,I can't express how good it feels right now .I have finally made my family proud.My uncle had walked into the Commonwealth games last year.Held up the womens' 400 m hurdles in the process.Ever since then,my dad and mom have had high expectations from me.It feels great to have finally made this large.My parents' prayers have been answered.My mom even went to the extent of distributing free bones to all the dogs in our locality to celebrate my achievement.And all my pals were chanting repeatedly throughout the night "That sonofabitch has done it!!That sonofabitch has done it!!!" It was quite an overwhelming feeling.

Black Dog,you the man!!!!

Sonofabitch has done it!!!!Sonofabitch has done it!!!!

MC:Ohhh!!So that's what all the howling in the night was all about.

BD:Rarf!!!!Yep,I told em to keep it down lest you humans wake up and think the end of the world has been pre-poned to yesterday night.But they wouldn't listen.Can't blame 'em either.With all those fleas in their fur,it is quite easy for them to get all hyper and stuff.

Honey!!Could you please pass on the Itch-guard?The fleas are giving me a hard time again!!

MC:Quite understandable.What you've done is no mean feat.You broke past tight security and managed to hold up the practice session for no less than five minutes.Why people are now even laying bets on whether you or someone like you would make a reappearance in F1 soon.What do you have to say about that?

BD:If people want an encore,they'll get an encore.Some of the boys in my neighborhood are  gearing up for their own shots at their five minutes of fame.So I guess you can expect plenty of canine action in the days to come!!!

MC:Any particular reason for choosing a F1 track to make your appearance?

BD:You mean,apart from instant recognition in national and international media?Well..this is a bit embarrassing..but yeah.[If he wasn't all black and stuff,I'm sure I could have seen him blush now]

MC:What is it?I can smell something mushy and romantic here.

BD:Duh!!You leave the smelling job to us,media boy!!It's our job to smell stuff-people's asses,other dogs' asses,garbage dumps,bombs,your 3-day old Subway sandwich,everything.But yeah,you are right.There is a cute bitch in my locality who I have the hots for.This F1 stunt I pulled was kinda my way of proving my alpha-male machismo to her.[winks]

Girl you are my Chammak Challo,Where you gonna go,I am gonna follow!!!

MC: I bet she must be a bitch on heat now!!!!

BD: You've no idea!!!!!With my mom and dad's blessings and her mom and dad's blessings,we are planning to start our own litter soon.We need to take care of our family planning aspects first though.I think we are gonna stick with five puppies or so a year for now.

They all went after their mother,you see!!!!

MC:Thanks for taking out the time.And here is wishing you best of luck for your future endeavors.May more race tracks and sport stadiums be witness to your shiny black fur!!

BD:Woof!!!

P.S.That last 'Woof!!!' is just dog lingo for 'Amen to that!!!!You ain't seen anything yet!!!!' :-D

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What next????

So finally my'short' story is over.Frankly speaking,I don't think I would have tried my hand at it.But Saru Singhal  insisted that I do.And I thought,what the heck,let's give it a shot.Problem is,it seemed to me that my story needed at least 3 chapters in order for me to do it justice.But,still,it was a different experience trying to condense all that into one relatively short composition.Sometimes I feel like Karan Johar who can't do without 3+ hours to tell a story properly.:-)

I wanted to be able to write something which will touch readers deeply.That's one area of writing I am still not very comfortable with yet.In "Consumed",I focused more on creating a fast ,pacy short story in which readers won't lose their interest half-way.So as far as my original objective is concerned,I failed.The subject of love destroying individuals and eating up their entire existence has always fascinated me.Maybe I will explore this theme more deeply in some other story.Right now,I think it is time for a happy happy,fairy-tale like romantic comedy to come out of my pen.

"Consumed" was my third story here.The follow-up to Love and other bugs and Complicated.The former had 3 parts and the latter had a whooping nine parts!!!!!!Now I wonder what next . Philo wants me to write a rhyming poem.I want to pen the sequel to Love and other bugs.I wonder if these two can be combined in any way.Hell,it will be a romcom.Plenty of scope for insertion of a mush filled poem here and there.Anyway,I think it is high time that Rohit got united with his 'happily ever after'.So a sequel is coming soon to a monumentally cranky blogspot near you.

And not to forget-a big thank you to all of you.You just make me keep wanting to write more and more......:-D

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PoemVille

You just know you are suffering from an acute case of Writer's Block when you have been unable to proceed with a story you have been toying in your mind for two weeks now.I dunno when my neural networks would fire up again,so for now, let stories take a rest.Let's focus on something else here.Poems. :)

I am a bad poet.My poems are meant for seven-year-olds who think rhyming is still cool.
The thing is-without rhyming,I can't write a poem.It doesn't make any creative sense to me.Why....I would rather write prose in stead,if I am not rhyming.A poem without rhyme and rhythm is just glorified prose right???

Well,that is what I used to think.Until I chanced upon the poems of a few awesome bloggers.They didn't rhyme,but boy,did their poems rock!!!!!The depth,the emotions,the feelings.....they kept me coming back for more...

One of these bloggers is http://esoteric-thoughts-posited.blogspot.com/ .I went through a dozen or so of her poems,and while I couldn't connect with all of them,the ones I did like,totally blew me away.She is just one of those intelligent poetesses who weave magic and profound thoughts into her poems with awesome ease.

So,if you happen to know of such poem powerhouses,do leave me a link in the comments section.And yep,if you want to write poems of your own,now maybe a good time to try your hand at it. :) If a shitty writer like me can try his hand at it,you can too.:-)

Best of luck...and happy trekking in PoemVille....

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Life so far

I am a smart guy.It's just that I specialize in making highly unsmart choices.

First,he makes me slog my ass off coming up with smart choices.
Then he goes right ahead to do exactly the opposite!Hmppph!!

But I make some accidentally good ones too.Just like my decision to join Infosys,straight out of college.
This Friday,my stint at Infy ended.It was a 3 years 4 months stint.And just like anything that stretches that long,it had its fair share of ups and downs.It was in Infy,I discovered my passion for writing.And along with that,I unearthed a whole lot of startling and not-so-startling facts about myself as well.

I tested positive for all those psychological disorders??!!Yikeees!!!!

Something which I learnt in these 3 years is-life ain't about making the right choices or the wrong ones.It's about learning to make your choices work for you.There ain't no good choices or bad choices.The merit or demerit of choices lie only in their consequences and outcomes .

The outcome may not be!

No matter,how much thinking and knowledge-gathering goes into arriving at a decision,life has a tendency to take us off-guard,to knock us out when we are most vulnerable,to twist our well planned choices into a mockery of unforeseen and unintended consequences.

Hey Life!Don't punch me so hard,
Just gimme a fair game, one good card!!

Somewhere down the line,I realized that life isn't to be taken too seriously.If life makes us happy,then smile.If life makes us sad,try to find what's funny about it and still smile.

Smile!An everlasting smile.It'll do you good,mile after mile!!

I dunno what lies ahead.I can just hope.:-) It's another thing I learnt in these 3 years.Hope is the last penny in your emotion's bank balance.Never in your life make the mistake of giving it away!:-)

Hope.Cleansing your worries.Since 50,000 B.C.

P.S.Google Images -serving image plunderers like me ever since its conception!! :-)
P.P.S.A friend of mine mentioned I look funny in my new profile pic!!!!Horrors,I say!!!:-(

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Gone sense Nonsense

Whole of tinseltown is abuzz with the news of Ekta Kapoor hiring Raam Gopal Verma to direct a new movie.It is going to a romantic comedy.Balaji Films,the banner under which Ekta Kapoor produces her movies,has reportedly paid Ramu a whooping sum of ten-crore rupees to get him on board.It's a different matter that most of that 10 crores consist of fake 1000 rupee notes circulated from a certain amiable and friendly neighboring country of ours.Ramu has twitted about it in frustration ,calling Ms.Kapoor as Fake-ta Kapoor.

Ramu loves me!!!!!

Ms.Kapoor, on the other hand ,has been unavailable for comments.But if the insiders and the grapevine are to believed,then the movie is still definitely on.

It will star Himesh Reshammiya,Tushar Kapoor(now why ain't I surprised at this one) and Harman Baweja.Celina Jaitley has been roped in to play the female lead.The movie has been tentatively titled '3 IIT-iots'.
The threesome of Himesh,Tushar and Harman are going to play 3 IIT-dropouts who decide to open a IIT coaching centre of their own.Digitial gimmickry to the tune of 10 lakhs is going to be used to make the 3 look like actual 18-20 year olds to lend credibility to the movie.Hollywood technicians who have worked on critically acclaimed animated movies like the Lice Age trilogy and Kung Fu Funda have been brought down specifically for this purpose.You haven't heard the names of these movies,neither have I.Duh!!!!Critically acclaimed movies are like that.Deal with it!!
Celina is supposed to be the Maths teacher in this coaching institute who all the 3 lead actors have an eye on.This being a spic and span, sanitized,clean,family entertainer and all, Celina will only bare her assets at every 15 minute interval.Himesh will do the music for the movie.For free,of course.That is how he landed the hero's job in the first place.

When are they ever gonna stop milking free songs outta me,dammit!!!!

There is supposedly a scene in the movie where the villain threatens to chop off Tushar's and Harman's balls (unmistakably a Delhi Belly inspired brainwave) until and unless Himesh croons for 5 minute straight in a non-nasal voice.This being an unachievable feat for the nasal crooner,rumours are afloat that Himesh has roped in his old time friend Sonu Nigam to dub for this critical scene.

Needless to say,Ekta Kapoor hit upon this extremely novel concept after witnessing the Chetan Bhagat-NarayanMurthy twitter-tiff about the degrading quality of IIT-ians, and about how IIT coaching centers are somehow responsible for that.

Aamir Khan is rumored to do a cameo in this movie as his character from 3 Idiots-Rancho.It will be shown how Rancho actually got admitted into ICE(Imperial College Of Engineering-The IIT-Knock Off which 3 Idiots used) by studying in the coaching institute opened by the trio of our heroes.Supposedly,this coaching institute was the one which taught him all about the 'All-Izz-Well' philosophy.

Chetan Bhagat is planning to drag Ekta Kapoor to court now too,claiming his book Five-Point-NoOne to be a creative inspiration for 3 'IIT'-iots.In his latest twit he writes,"Not satisfied with making movies on real life thugs and porn queens,Ekta Kapoor is now encroaching on the hallowed territory of Indian engineering education system as well.Hell,that's my territory and my territory alone.Lay off your Dirty Pictured hands,you buggers!!!"
Once again,Ekta Kapoor is unavailable for comments.Last time the shutterbugs spotted her,she was doing some Havan in a temple for Tushar's success in Bollywood.

Knock Knock Knocking on Havan'sDoor

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The flower and the bee

There she was-pretty,yellow and bright,

But her tiny heart wasn't quite feeling right!!!

She was a sensuous sight,an alluring flower,

But for no fault of hers ,her mood was sour!!

Her smile gone,she had no pleasure,no glee,

'Cause none visited her-not even a single bee.

Angry and alone,she one day asked a passing bee-

'Is my pollen and nectar not sweet enough for thee?'

Surprised,the bee answered-'You're gorgeous and grand,

Proudly and bewitchingly with spread petals you stand!

I would have gladly sipped your honey,dipped into your juice,

But then the friendship of the leaf below you I would lose.

You see he loves you deeply and truly-that shy fellow,

He can give up his life to protect your petals so mellow.

He asked us all to leave you alone,to leave you at peace

So our plundering visits to you have been caused to cease!!

He always loved you,from the day you were born,

He sings about you-evening,noon,night and morn!!

Go and talk to him now,you silly girl,you foolish lass,

Lest before you know true love-this moment shall pass!!!'

P.S. Often we seek love and companionship outside,above us,in places beyond our control and reach.While all the time,a leaf sitting quietly below us goes on loving us to no end......This is a poem dedicated to all such silent lovers and admirers.....Hope your love gets rewarded one day!!!!:-)

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Love and other bugs-Part III

For Part I,go here
For Part II,go here

Life's a bitch.Love even more so.
Life gives you a low-specs low-config PC.Love makes you want to run high-end software on it.
Rohit didn't have the looks or the money to woo a fab babe like Ankita.And yet,here he was.Head over heels in love.With a software which his hardware was gonna choke to death trying to keep pace with.If only life had given his hardware some good hard sense to keep it company!!!!!

To make matters worse,she was leaving him for good!!!!!!

"Woaah!!!Hyderabad?How come I didn't know any of this?" Rohit shot out incredulously at Ankita.

"I didn't know I'd get selected.So decided to wait before telling you."Ankita replied in a tone which seemed rehearsed to Rohit."I'll be leaving by the end of this month."

"But,must you go?What's so bad about Pune?"He sounded desperate.More desperate than he would have wanted to sound.Less desperate than he actually was.

"Rohit,it's paying me 1.5 times my current package!Plus,it's into product development.Not the shitty service-oriented mess we are in.Would you have let it go?"

He wouldn't.
Or would he?If Ankita was around,he might have.He could have thought about it.He could have stayed with her.....stared dreamily into her eyes...thought about what names their kids would have...dreamt about growing all shriveled-up and old together.
And screwed up his career in the process.
Damn you,love!No wonder people hate you so much!!!!

They didn't talk much after that day.He tried to drown all his single-hood and desperation in a sea of booze.But all that happened was that his S.A.D life  became sadder than he had ever thought possible.

Is it  just a weird freaking coincidence that Single And Desperate abbreviates to S.A.D?
Well,I guess we'll never know.
***
And so,on one such booze-induced night,Rohit was returning in a cab from a friend's place.With a sloshed mind occupied only with Ankita's dreamy thoughts.
Her flight would be leaving for Hyderabad tonight.He knew for sure he would miss her.He would miss her so very much.
He would miss  the cute dimples on her face as she talked.He would miss the intense light of a hundred emeralds dancing in her eyes as she giggled.
And he would miss her smile.That smile.

He had once found an oyster at a beach as a kid.His curious fingers had pried it open,and his puerile eyes had been put under a spell by the beautiful white pearl peeping out of it.He never knew just how long he had kept staring at it in stunned awe.That sight had taken his sight captive,and the rest of his senses with it.It was by far the most enticing,the most alluring,the most bewitching experience he had ever had.

Her smile always reminded him of that pearl.


But now that pearl was gonna get clamped up in that oyster forever.

"Hey,turn the cab around!!!!"Rohit hollered."I want to go to the airport!!!!!"

Maybe it was all that booze that made him turn around.Rohit was darn sure it was all that booze.The author is pretty darn sure it was something else.
***
He was drenched in sweat.The four chambers of his heart were beating like the walls of  four 18-inch bass-pounding speakers;the solidness of their output almost drowning out every other sound.

His cab had broken down 2 kms away from the airport.That lousy piece of junkyard shit!!!!With roughly  25 minutes to spare before she boarded her flight,he had made a dash for it.Like his life depended on it.

The stuff love makes you do!!!!

Panting and gasping for breath,he arrived at the airport counter with 12 minutes to spare.They won't let him inside the airport.Not without a ticket.He fished out his debit card to make the 10 grand payment for the earliest flight out of Pune to anywhere.He just had to get inside somehow!!Anyhow!!!!!The thought that all this money might actually go down the drain crossed his mind.Maybe he would be better off just calling her up and telling her not to go.

But no!!That wasn't gonna work.

10 grand!!Dammit!!!Whoever said love don't cost a thing obviously had a sick sense of humor!!!

After a 4 minute long queue for sec check which seemed to drag on forever,he was finally at the waiting lounge.Pune airport is fortunately a very small one.You take 70 odd steps and the entire airport is over.With only just one waiting lounge and about 6 minutes to spare,she shouldn't be too hard to find,should she?

He was wrong.Her flight seemed to have been delayed.And she was nowhere in sight.He frantically looked around,trying to catch a glimpse of her black cascading waterfall of hair.Or her long eyelash-ed eyes.Or her long slender neck......on her gorgeously elegant shoulders.

Nothing.She was nowhere!!!!

"Rohit,what on earth are you doing here??"
He turned around to meet her face to face.She was without any makeup whatsoever but she never seemed so  ravishing before.He could easily pull out his heart,put it in a gift bag cushioned with soft cotton and tissue paper,tie together the floppy handles of the bag with a ribbon,and hand over the bag to her.Just her.

"Ankita,please don't go.I beg you.I love you."
Even a kindergarten kid would have probably proposed  to his puppy love in a more heart-warming fashion.But in these matters, the gift of the gab eluded Rohit eternally.

Why on earth couldn't he just cry his heart out to Rani just like SRK in "Chalte Chalte"?Or maybe have some oldie goldie song ready.A song which she would know he would sing only to his beloved.That sure was a great time-saver trick!!Worked swell for Imran and Genelia in "Jane Tu Ya Jane Na",didn't it?Both these love lost heroes wooed back their lady loves in the airport.

Why the hell couldn't he?

"What?"She almost shrieked."This some kinda joke,Rohit?And how the hell did they allow you in here?"

"Shhh!!!"He moved closer to her and put his finger over her silk-petal-like lips."I spent 10 grand just to be able to spend less than 10 mins with you!Don't take that away from me."

She just stared at him wide-eyed as he resumed speaking."All this talk about feeling complete and everything.I never knew what that meant.Until I met you.I have been going crazy just thinking about you.I am trapped in those thoughts.Funny thing is,I don't think I want any release from them.I want them to stay forever.Just as I want you to stay forever."

"Rohit,I-I don't understand."she said,shaking her head.

"Don't say,you didn't know I like you."He looked at her eyes,searching for the faintest hint of affection in them.

She did know.She had kept herself away from him this whole past month,just so that it would be easy for him to forget her.

"I'm leaving on this flight tonight,Rohit!Nothing's gonna change that."She finally said decisively.

"Look.We can work something out.Don't say No ...pleeeez."

"Like what?Long-distance?That's never gonna work.You know it.I know it.The whole damn world knows it."

"Plllleeeeez don't go!"He almost cried.

"I'm sorry,Rohit.You and me ain't gonna work out.Byee.Take care.I will board my flight now."

"Is there no chance that we..." He stopped mid-way as she turned away from him to join the line of boarding passengers.

He stood rooted to the ground.Hoping,just hoping that she would turn to look at him.See the pain in his eyes,the heaviness settling in his chest,witness every fiber of his being calling out for her to stay back with him.

She didn't glance back at him.Not even once.

He still waited.Until he knew for sure that her flight must have left.Hoping.Just hoping.

He was turning to go away,all lights of his life having dimmed out,when she heard a voice behind him."Hey,aren't you forgetting something?"

She was back?She didn't leave him?Ohh!!!Sweet mother of god!!!!Life wasn't such a bitch after all.

He turned around happily.
Only to see a stranger girl holding a piece of paper in her hands.His 10 grand ticket!!!!Must have slipped out of his pocket.

"Umm.It's ok."He said crest-fallen."I don't need that.I missed the flight I actually came for."And he left.

Little did he know,that the girl holding that ticket would end up holding the ticket to his heart as well.She had seen and heard the entire scene between him and Ankita unfold before her eyes and ears with rapt attention.Her heart went out to him in sympathy.

She was that woman.The one he would have kids with.The one he would lovingly fight with over taking out the garbage.The one.His happily-ever-after delivered to him in a FedEx package.He just didn't know that yet.And neither did she.

But of course,that story was just beginning.:-)

*The End*

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Stuff

Stuff I plan to do during this 4-day long weekend @ home:
1.Watch She's All That,Captain America,Green Lantern and Mere Brother Ki Dulhaan.
2.Design my own blog template from scratch.Let's just hope I don't end up scratching those grand plans of mine in the first place.
3.Pen the final chapter of my story.

And why on earth am I jotting all these down???
Nuthing to it really.:-)Just the fooolish hope that writing all these down will give me that extra push to stay committed to my plans.;-)

I am back to Kolkata on Doshomi.Visiting Kol @ the last day of Puja celebrations almost feels like having to feed oneself on the leftovers after the sumptuous feast is over.
The pandals are relatively empty;and the people's energy and enthusiasm are reluctantly eyeing the exit just as the MLAs of the party on its way to getting voted out in the next elections .
Ahh well,never liked too much of noise and boisterous display of exuberance anyway.So I guess I ain't complaining....:-)

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Love and other bugs-Part II

For Part I,go here

"So just what made you want to top the MCP Hall of Shame,Mr.Crow-Shit?"Ankita sneered at Rohit.They were at the Food Court as agreed,and apparently Ankita didn't want to waste time in pleasantries.

"The same thing which made you join the Bullshit Bitches Company," Rohit smirked."And BTW,you must be darn fond of the word 'shit',mustn't you?Ro-shit...crow-shit...make me shit in my pants???...blah blah..You sure got one stinky mouth the size of a football fie.. "

"Shit deserves shit,"Ankita left his sentence hanging mid-way."And BTW,even I was just a wee bit curious....just what made you so fucked up?What's your big problem with women,anyway?"

Problem?He didn't have a problem.Women were the problem.


"Women are living examples that God is a lousy programmer,"he retorted."He riddled the source code of human existence with bugs like you!!!"

"Why you misogynist piece of shi...".She stopped herself seeing the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile."You know something,for you a different definition of MCP has to be found out.Misogynist Crap Pot!!!!!Yep,that sounds like you all right!!!!!!"

Misogynist Crap Pot!!!Rohit noted it down.Could come in handy in some future blogs.Some wit this Amazonian bitch had!!!He could feel the beginnings of a grudging admiration stirring in his heart.

"Ok.Enough with the fluff talk," he tried to put on a matter-of-fact tone."Down to business now.Tell me this.Are we going to spend this conversation rambling about what a huge mistake my parents made by making out on that fateful night...Or do you actually have something important to say?"

"Nothing.I just wanted to see what a misogynist slob with a flair for writing actually feels like talking to," she said eyeing him with defiance.

"And the verdict is?"

"Unimpressive!!!"She laughed out."And I am being lenient here.You obviously can't stand women coz you can't get anywhere with them.Tccch...tccccchh....I think I could have pitied you.But you're just too plain obnoxious!!!!!!!!!"

Damn!!!This bitch was good.

He was already starting to like her.


"Funny,"he smiled wryly."I thought you were going to ask me whether I hate women because I don't get them or whether I don't get them because I hate them."

"Hah!!!Does it make a difference?"

"It does to me.Look,I know I write a whole load of baloney on my blogs.And yep,I do it out of sheer frustration.But it's not just because I'm put off by women.I know gals and chicks have every fucking right to ignore me and dismiss me without even a thought.And trust me,although I  hate them for it,I hate myself  even more.I hate myself coz I'm not just good enough for them.I'm not smart enough or I don't have looks to die for.I get that,ok??"

Ankita opened her mouth to speak but Rohit silenced her with a gesture of  his hand.
"I'm not done yet."He went on."Women just friggin' dismiss my CV without as much as giving it a second glance.I get that.But I can't go on hating myself.So I just blog to let off my steam.I don't care if people read them or not.Or what they think of it.Believe me,when the first few comments started pouring in,I was surprised.I didn't think people would consider the moronic  thoughts of a loser worth reading,let alone commenting.Sure it feels good and all.....right now.Gives my shitty vulnerable self-worth its much needed ego-boost.And maybe that's why,I just keep doing what I do.I  don't want to hurt people,I don't .But if you don't like what I write,you can just stop reading them.Right?"

Rohit stopped to catch his breath.He half-expected her to say something.But she just kept on looking at him with a queer expression he couldn't fathom.

"There,interview over?May I leave now?" he asked,trying to wrest out of her some semblance of a reply.

Seconds passed without any of them exchanging a word.

Rohit was beginning to get impatient when she finally replied with a wide grin,"You know,I came here half wanting to drill some manners into that nut-case brain of yours and half wanting to bash you black and blue.But you are one honest sonofabitch!!I like that."

Rohit didn't know what to say to that;he just kept his lips zipped.

"And stop reading your posts?????Nooo way!!!!,"she continued."Me and my colleagues love them.They sit right there with the Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield strips we dig so much!!!Kinda lits up those dull mornings sometimes!!!Me and my buddies hatch devious plots to screw the shi...uhh...screw the balls out of you!!!!" At this point,she almost giggled.

His writings lit up her mornings?
Damn,her mint-fresh smile and cute dimples were lighting up his dull evening too!!!!
She suddenly wasn't that vicious succubus from that man-hating hell anymore!!She was that bubbly ball of joy he wanted to hug and kiss.
He could surely learn to love this chick.Without an iota of doubt!!!!


After that day,they talked and they  talked often.Evening snacks at the office canteen turned into hang-outs at MacD and PizzaHut.Chat conversations turned into movie outings.Two months flew by like two hours of some breezy romantic comedy flick.He was falling in love and he knew it.He thought she was falling in love too.

But he was wrong...

To be continued...

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Raped

Painfully,he digs his fingers into my arm
Fear seizes me,I know he'll cause me harm
His eyes are hellish,shining with cruel lust
I can feel tonight he'll turn my body to dust

Rudely like a beast,he throws me on the floor
My clothes,body and soul,he violently tore
Clawing and ripping away my tender parts,
He riddled my heart with poisonous darts.

He beats me up,terrorizing and horrifying me
Powerless before him,I helplessly fight to be free
He is using me and my body without permission
My shamed body hating itself for its submission

He leaves me,torn,dirty,corrupted and battered
I'll never be the same again,my life is shattered
He proved it,over my person I've no control
In insecurity, fear and stigma,my heart does roll

I'm changed forever,I'll never feel the same
I don't know how long I'll carry this shame
Forever afraid,over my shoulder I'll always look
Lest he come again, my everything he just took!

My confidence lost,tortured and brutalized by him
My mind is now a cage,and I've become a victim
It's not fun,it's not sex,you can't rape a woman
It's an unforgivable sin,a crime against being human!!!

Author's note:Just read about another rape in New Delhi.In sheer disgust,I wrote this!!!!!

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Love and other bugs

Love and gals never made much sense to Rohit.They were to him what modern abstract art is to the vast majority of people.Meaningless and over-rated.

Rohit of course was never alone in this.Just like a million others from Mars,he was totally clueless and confused regarding what made a Venusian tick.Failures might be the pillars of success but where women are concerned,there are probably too many pillars crowding Mars right now.Success just has no room left to breathe on that god-forsaken planet.Hell,it won't be too surprising if it has packed its bags and left for Venus for good.So Mars can just kiss Venus’ arse!


Till now,Rohit’s long spell of Martian single-hood had been punctuated only with short bursts of casual dates and flings.In Rohit’s world,short meant anything from a couple of hours to a couple of days.But definitely not more.Flunking the exam of love came naturally to Rohit.And he flunked royally.

But he debunked chicks royally too.

He was one of the most popular contributors to his company’s internal blog forum.He sprinkled his blogs with liberal doses of vitriolic remarks against gals in general,and hot chicks in particular.Calling grapes sour does not make them sour,but they sure do take away a lot of sourness from the mind.Political correctness and diplomacy be damned.The easiest way to attract the moths of readers’ traffic is to spark the fires of controversy.And Rohit ignited infernos.Hell,some of the comments on his posts used to be bonfires in themselves.Men were all praises for his guts,and women were out for his guts.Rohit relished both.Until on a not so fine a day…

“Hey Mr Ro-shit...so little baby cries himself to sleep every night...wetting his pillows wishing for a gal to luv him?Do you wet your bed too?”

Rohit stared for ten seconds at this ping in the window of his company’s chatting software.It didn’t take a descendant of Einstein to figure out that this small bundle of praise being heaped on him right now was a side-effect of his chauvinistic blogs.Angry brickbats from gals was a part of his life.But till now,they had just been restricted to comments on his blog posts.This was the first time someone had actually pinged him.
So someone finally decided to take the bull by its horns.


”What,cat got your tongue?Or did a chick make you chicken out?” Another ping followed,even before he had the time to come up with a witty repartee.

Rohit squinted at the name.Ankita Agarwala.He didn’t know her.But this bitch was getting on his nerves.His fingers flew over the keyboard.

”Hi,cat didn’t get my tongue.A catwoman did.With sharp claws and all.I wonder why.Had too much of stinky fish to eat,did she?Coz her words sure do stink!!!!”

Ankita’s reply was furiously fast.“Hah!Look who’s talking.Who writes all that shit on blogs about women,shit-head?I had been following you for sometime now.You certainly have some major rejection issues.I suggest you go see a shrink.”

Ouch! That was totally under the belt!!And cheap!!
Or so Rohit thought. No one likes to be reminded of bitter truths. Even when they are so obviously apparent to oneself and also to everybody else. He started typing again.

“Ms. Crankita Ogre-wala,please do mind your language.All our chat conversations get recorded,you know.If you have the guts not to chicken out,why don’t we just meet mano-a-mano and see this to the finish?What say?Food Court,in front of the Amul Counter @ 4 PM?Or do you just prefer to shout and rant @ people from the safety of your chat window?”

“Pah!!Challenge accepted!!!See u sharp @ 4.Just bring along a fresh pair of undies along.You are gonna shit in your pants!!I am gonna make u!!!”

Some wild untamed Amazon she was!Rohit felt a bit intimidated,and yet strangely aroused.

Little did he know,their meeting was about to change his life upside down.

To be continued….

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Geeky Weeky

The geek in me is just in love with the idea of blogger templates.Can't wait till I have a blog template of my own.By my own,I mean absolutely my own.Designed from scratch,by me.All images and backgrounds will be of my choice and my choice alone.Hell,I will create those images on my own.Know enough about GIMP and Photoshop to pull off sumthing like that with ease!!!!!!!No stupid website names and author names to indicate who had actually created the 3rd party template I will be using.It will totally be me.My current template-I snatched it up from some googled up site-it sucks..:-( I like it,but I hate it too..All these frilly Japanese anime style headers don't do it for me.....But it is kinda different....I haven't seen too many bloggers using it.....So I kinda hooked up my blog with this one...But the wait has not ended....I can't wait to learn enough about blogger templates so that I can start designing one on my own....Just when the hell will my S/w Engineering background come in handy,huh?????;-)

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